Thursday, May 21, 2009

Blended Families

I don't often talk about it, here or in real life, but I am 'technically' a step-mom to Headless Girl. Her father and I married when she had just turned 7. Her bio-mom was out of the picture (at least at home,) by the time she was 3 and I am the only day-to-day, in-the-home mother that she has ever known. (She does have a relationship with her mother, which I will might discuss at another time.)

First, I don't talk about this because I don't feel like a "step." HG has always lived with her father. When we met, she made it very clear that her mother lived in another city. Headless Dad made it very clear what he was looking for (yep, another post,) and clear that I would instantly be her mother-figure in the home. I went from being single to being a wife and mother in the same instant. Notice that I didn't say step-mother. I am her mother-from being the Brownie leader, to tending skinned knees, to talk about boys and college, I have always felt like her mother and always treated her as such.

Another reason that I don't talk about this is because I am only one wheel on this four-wheeled bus. It is not entirely my story to tell. HG, HD, and the bio-mom all have their own "truth" about this whole saga and in many ways I feel like I am the spare tire, rather than the actual wheel. I will try to talk about me, about my feelings, my reactions, and my general beliefs about step-families, hopefully without injecting how they feel, react, and what they believe.

I have to be sensitive about this. I'm sure you can see why.

My Mother and Granny used to say that there are always two sides to a story, and then the truth. I want to share some of my truth, and the knowledge that I've gained, with you. Tune in next time!

Headless Mom

3 comments:

meandmom said...

I am very anxious to hear your experiences with this topic! Think about how wonderful the spare tire is....you completely take it for granted until the day you get the flat....and THEN...that spare tire is a life saver. Did you get that? A LIFE saver! :) God bless you for the love you give to HG!

Rocks In The Wash said...

Whatever way you look at it... HG and HD are blessed to have you in their lives!!!

kyooty said...

I have thought of you as her mom, I remember reading the'meeting" story. My brother is my nephew's Dad, since he was 3 yrs old, he's been the only man he's knows as dad. :)