Sunday, October 11, 2009

Thinking About Blogging. No, Really, That's What I'm Thinking About.

I've been thinking a lot lately about my place in the blogosphere. I've loved it here for two years, I've made a happy home for myself. I have some fantastic friends and readers, and have been able to have some fantastic opportunities that I would never have had otherwise.

Oops, before I go on, I know that this sounds like one of those "I'm gonna shut it down" type of posts. It's not.

Last night I popped over to read what Heather has been writing. (If you don't know who I'm talking about then email me. She's big. So big, in fact, that I won't link it because some will think I'm writing about her for the hits. I'm not.) I find her fascinating. I find it fascinating that she has enough 'haters' that she can devote a whole page on her website to them. She had a family member pass away this week, and even in the midst of her grief the haters still come. And still post awful things in the comments. Really? Is this who we are?

If our president has called for change, then it has to start at home, with us. With who we essentially are. If we have these kinds of people around us, then who are we really? When Katrina hit the gulf coast, millions sent money or went to help. When someone in our families die, shouldn't we, at the least, offer soft messages of condolence? I may not like our president, but he's got a point about changing who we are. I don't think that the examples of what I saw on Heather's site will be getting us anywhere, anytime soon.

I don't get many hits. The posts where I get more than a few comments are few and far between. My BlogHer checks aren't very big. I don't have many corporations banging down my door to do big reviews for them. I'm not even big enough to have haters. I'd like to think that my little circle is more than that, though. I think that I have found a circle of friends in cyberspace that would be my friends even if they/you lived down the block. (Hey, that would be fun! Cocktail parties every Friday!)

This isn't even a post about friends. Or the lack of them. Nope.

They say persistence is the key, in blogging and in life. There are many things that I am persistent in. Bed times, for one. Dinner, as a family, for another. I am persistent in blogging to a point, I think. I keep you all updated on all of the headlessness around here. I toss in some photos, some memes, recipes. But what really brings people here? And where do I draw the proverbial line in the sand between writing for you and writing for me?

In some ways I write for me, and me alone, but to be honest, You, my reader, is always in my mind. If I were truly to write for me, I'd be writing more posts on things that I'm not sure you want to hear, or that I don't necessarily want you to know. Am I now not being 'transparent'? I'm honest in what I do write about but does that make me dishonest that I don't put it all out there? Would you really want to read about my anxieties and fears when others write about them so much more eloquently than I?

If I was writing for "you" alone, (read: 'the hits') I'd probably be surfing the internet for Today's Hot Topic, and boring you with more of the same commentary on Jon and Kate or health care or the Broncos going 5-0. Would those things get me more hits? Maybe, but is that the community that I want? Would my voice stand out amidst all of the others out there? I doubt it.

I've found that I say way more about myself when I'm commenting on other's blogs than I do here. Why is that? I leave my link with "Headless Mom". You know who I am, or how to find me. Then you get here and get my fluff. Why do I do that? I was reading another post last night that left me close to tears and I left a bare comment about myself and my short-comings as a mom. Why wouldn't I just post it here? I'm not sure.

I'm actually not even sure what this post is about except to say that I'm thinking a lot lately, but not coming up with any answers.

Headless Mom

8 comments:

Karen said...

Hmmmm... now you've got me thinking, too.

Just Breathe said...

You should be writing for yourself. Once in awhile it's okay to post about something like American Idol, it's fun to read, but I like to read about the real person, you and your life. Most of the people I follow are just real people sharing their life with me.
I like a small church where you can know each family, no one is a stranger. I feel that way about blogging too!

meandmom said...

Agreed! We love the real headless...I love to read blogs that have a little of everything because that's what life is! Some days are focused on a good dinner, some on disciplining our kids, some on the Sunday football games...that's life and it is always fun to help someone celebrate their joy or console their frustrations.

Kelly said...

I come over here to comment and to be "me", but I have to say that the reason I don't post all the authentic things I want about my life on my blog is because I have people reading my blog that I don't want to be that vulnerable to. Note to self: next blog, don't tell friends and family. That's my truth. Not sure what yours is, but it's always good to think!

AmazingGreis said...

I'm pretty truthful on my blog, but moreso "honest" when leaving comments and such at other blogs. I'm always hesitant to be 100% honest on my space because friends and family do know about the blog and I'm not always sure who will be reading it. But it is my space and if I'm feeling a certain way or need to "vent" I haven't had too many qualms with posting.

I"m with Kelly next time I'm keeping the blog anonymous! LOL

kyooty said...

Excellent thought provoking post. I get it, totally. I would rather not hurt my readers then post what I think would really throw them for a loop. I love your posts whatever you post, even the football!

Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah said...

I fear becoming big enough to have haters. It terrifies me.

Anna See said...

i can relate to a lot of this. i find myself editing out stuff on my blog b/c of privacy and wondering if it will offend. i feel that i can be more real in comments.