Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Control Freak

There is someone that I'm working with on a project. (How's that for vague?) This person has a position of great importance, great influence, and great responsibility.

I have committed to helping this person, and the group of people surrounding them, for a period of time. I am willing to give up personal time for the greater good of the group. I have done my job well, in my opinion, but know that I have made a few small mistakes. I have asked for more information, and asked to help even more than I have been allowed to.

Here's the problem: This other person is a control freak in a way that I've never ever seen before. Honestly, I have some control issues but this person is over the top. When I was talking to Headless Dad about it I said "[Person] has such a tight grip on everything...". and he finished, "...that it's strangling the life out of it." Spot on. This person's stress level is obviously through the roof, and tasks are falling through the cracks, to the detriment of the group as a whole.

I want to do more. So do the others on our team. There are some jobs that this person simply shouldn't have to do that they will.not.let.go. The others on the leadership team want to do more. The rest of us are all on the same page on this. It's a problem that doesn't only effect us, it effects the whole organization. I have watched other people, leaders and just members, leave because this problem has been around for a long, long time.

While I'm not going to quit, not by a long shot, I'm super frustrated. I'm not a confrontational person by nature but I really feel like I, or someone, should do something. Say something. But for me to do it? Doubtful. I've tried offering to do more, gently. I've tried doing my job well so this person would feel comfortable letting me do more. To no avail. I try not to take it personally, and I'm not, but I feel like there is more I could do to help the situation.

What do you do when faced with a control freak? How do you help? Is there any way to get through to them?

Headless Mom


Rocks In The Wash said...

Have you thought about sitting down and discussing it with this person?

Personally, I've always felt it's best to tackle the problem head on, instead of letting feelings and frustrations take over. Sit down with them over lunch and discuss. Present to them what you would like to do to contribute to the organization. Let them know that you are a person that doesn't need to be "micro managed" but are a "go-getter" and one who CAN get the job done.

Sell yourself; you are worth it and the organization is worth it!

Dana said...

I completely understand how you feel. I have a co-worker that has to tell everyone what to do and how to do it whether we want her advice or not. It's kind of driving me crazy, but I just suck it up (which is really tough for me to do)! I hope things work out more favorably.

Karen said...

I wish I had answers for you, but know I am here if u want to vent.

kyooty said...

In the end no one "volunteers" for these types of leadership groups or members and the future members and groups lose out to the "no one wants to do anything" :(

Debby@Just Breathe said...

That is a sad situation and not one that can be easily fixed however I do feel you have to approach this person.