Today HD and I celebrate 16 years of marriage. That's a long time, y'all. Here are 16 things that I've learned about marriage since that day in 1997:
- Your husband (or wife,) is not a mind reader. You must tell them what is on your mind.
- Choose your words carefully. A hasty tongue causes hurt feelings and much back-tracking.
- Sometimes women just need someone to listen. Sometimes men need a sounding board to fix it. Sometimes a hug is the only answer.
- Let your husband parent in his way. You parent in your way. Your children need both.
- Find out what your spouse's Love Language is. Remember to act on it daily, if you can.
- Learn to say "I'm sorry."
- Talk about each other's day, what's going on, how they feel about it. Don't just bark a laundry list of To-Do items and the kid's activities.
- Make the time to go out once in a while. While we don't always get out weekly, sometimes we take a night or weekend completely away. Do what works for you, your schedule, and your budget, but do it. Time away from your home changes how you act and react to one another.
- Respect your husband's family (or your wife's,) but remember that you are married to your partner, not their family. Have calm, respectful discussions about topics that involve extended family, and come to JOINT conclusions.
- Sometimes having some sexy time, even if you don't feel like it, is just what the dr. ordered. And you probably need it, too.
- Find some couple friends that you both enjoy.
- Spend time doing the things that YOU love, without your honey. You'll have more to bring to the table when you are together.
- Do not make large purchases alone. Consult one another in all major financial matters.
- Do not expect that just because you're married that your life will magically be happy all of the time. Happiness, and marriage, take hard work.
- Always assume that your partner has your best interests at heart. Always keep your partner's best interests at heart. They should be the #1 person on this planet that you are concerned with.
- Keep God in the center of your marriage. God invented marriage for a reason and blesses those that remember that.
Edited to add : I may not do all of these things well all of the time, but I have learned that they are important. You know, just to clarify. ;-)