Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Paralyzed

It happens several times a year. I've got a sh*t-ton of things to do and a perceived little time in which to get them done. Currently on the To-Do list:

  • Clean the kid's bedrooms, rearrange furniture, hang pictures, etc.
  • Deep clean the living room. And I mean deep, since it hasn't been done since the flood. (I know. I did say paralyzed, though, didn't I?) The dust is EPIC.
  • Clean and prep my room for painting. The (second to) last frontier in Operation Eradicate The Pink.
  • Finish planting: the pots for the front of the house, the pots on our back patio, the front flower bed, the side "experiment" flower bed, the flower bed in the center of our front yard. (This doesn't count the other areas that need to be completely dug up and re-landscaped.)
  • Get Headless Girl packed for her 6 week mission trip to Africa. (I didn't mention that? I will. I deserves a whole post on it's own.)
  • Get ready for my own trip to Las Vegas next weekend.
There's probably more but my head just exploded.

But did you notice? Up there? I said perceived.

I am a housewife. A stay-at-home-mom. Yes, I have lots of responsibilities, but I also have a ton of freedom. Don't want to do the laundry today? No problem! It will still be there tomorrow. Would rather spend an hour surfing blogs? Hey, the dishes just phoned and they said they'll wait for you. I, literally, have all day to choose how, what, and in what order I get things done. There in lies the problem: there is so much to do, so many things calling my name, (yes, including the husband and children!,) that I have a difficult time doing ANYTHING,  and I trick myself into a panic attack just thinking about all that I need to be doing. Paralyzing.

And utterly ridiculous. For the last 3 or 4 months I have been watching my husband bust his ass at work. There have been a few changes, several new projects, and more than a few new responsibilities, and here I sit thinking I'm 'paralyzed'. And that is just wrong. And selfish.

So today begins what (I hope,) will be the start of a new chapter for me. It's the last day of school for the kids, so today will be all about fun for them, but for me? I'll be starting. I'll prioritize and just START.

To hell with Paralyzed. I'm better than that and my family deserves more.
Headless Mom

12 comments:

kyooty said...

I live that life too. I had a day where I just felt so darn Bored? I had stuff on my to do list. I had the fridge to dust, and the shelves in the window above the sink that I see everyday. I had the floors to mop, the laundry to move from location to location, dry, to wet, to dry to fold. You know the drill? Well none of it got done... Friday? I moved mountains to get out of town, but when I am not on a time crunch? I'm bored....

Just Margaret said...

Oh, honey, you know that I know *exactly* what you're talking about. Today, I actually, finally attacked my desk that has been mocking me for months. I sort of figured if I could get my downstairs taken care of, then I would work my way upstairs to the disasters that await me in all four bedrooms up there. I think it was you that told me to take baby steps (thank you for that!) and I'm trying.

Sometimes I think that the flexibility that we enjoy as at-home parents makes it too easy to skip out on what we really want to get done. Three cheers for you getting started!

Many, many (hugs) for you.

Liz@thisfullhouse said...

Looks very much like my list, too. Except, for Vegas and Africa. Oh, and the Africa thing...COOL...can't wait to read more about that awesome trip!

Ramblin' Red said...

Oh honey, do I ever understand this!

Karen said...

Glad to know I am not the only one lol. I have been feeling so lazy lately hard to do anything as it feels like I am walking through water, while my hubby works his rear off!!! And then tells me it is because you have been sick and decides I don't need to cook so he gets dinner......makes me feel even worse. Today I decided to get off my behind and get to work, yes still slow but at least I can look at the downstairs without cringing......of course part of my incentive was knowing my mom and sister r coming over before we head to k's high school grad lol.....

Debby@Just Breathe said...

Good for you, I wish you success!
Thinking about all that needs to get down can paralyze us. I know I have been this way for a long time.
One day at a time, one project at a time = success. I also believe that the more we accomplish and the feelings that brings to us makes us want to keep going. Now if only I could get started!

Diana said...

A while back a very wise women came by my blog as I'd written something similar and said "You just do it." I thought I'd pass that along right about now. It really does work. ;)

JB said...

I know just what you mean. So many things need to be done around here and I just can't make myself do them...

Michelle said...

I know the feeling - allllll the time. Fingers crossed you can get through some of your list. It does get paralyzing, doesn't it? But ummm your kids are done with school already? Yikes!

Mary @ A Simple Twist Of Faith said...

Frankly, I think it is harder when you are at home. No one tells you what to do, or asks when a project is done. You really have to be self disciplined.

myvegaslife said...

Maybe the elves will do it? That's who does the work at my house when I don't get it done... Or be like my sister, throw out whats dirty and just buy new!

I hope you have a good time in Vegas. Our weather has been crazy lately, but not as warm as usual so I hope it lasts through your trip here!

Shannon Entin said...

Well, you are not alone in this. You know I feel *exactly* the same way. Why do we feel so paralyzed when faced with freedom? It should be a chance for us to focus and get passionate. For me, I've decided it's because there's no accountability. We should work on some way to be accountable.