Thursday, August 21, 2008

Open Letter to People with Pools

Hey! I'm so glad that you chose to come on by. Have you been enjoying your summer? I'm sure that your POOL has given you many hours of glorious fun with your children this summer. Countless memories of splashing, wet, laughing moments.

I'm really happy for you. Really.

I do however have one request. I hope you don't mind. It's just a small thing.

Are you sure? OK. Here I go.

Next summer? Could you refrain from saying, in front of my pool-less children, that you would love to have us come over? That you'll call and set it up? That you would love for my children to come over to SWIM?

Now, like most kids, mine love to swim. They are fish, when they are able to get in a pool. They are good swimmers; I don't even have to get in the pool with them anymore.

I have 2 boys with memories like elephants.

Next year I would like to not have to field the questions of "When are we going swimming at _____'s house?" If you say it, they will remember it. And I will have to make excuses for you.

(Which, really? I need to make excuses for my own shortcomings, so making them for you is cumbersome at best.)

Don't get me wrong, we would love to come swimming. The kids (and me!) love getting in a pool when it is 100+ outside for most of the summer. Just, please, for the love of God, don't say anything in front of my boys until we have a set date and time.

Now, don't get me wrong. If you really don't want us to come, that's ok. I'm sure the constant stream of wet children through your house gets old. I can imagine that there are many parents that "drop and go" assuming that you are happy to watch their children while they go get a mani/pedi. I am not one of those moms. I will happily watch my own kids unless you tell me to leave.

If you haven't noticed, I'm also not one to call and invite ourselves. I was raised that inviting yourself is rude. If you say "Oh, they can come anytime," but don't expressly call to invite us on a particular day you won't hear from us. Well, at least to come and swim in your pool. You may still hear from me because I would like your kids to come and entertain my kids-

While I blog.

Headless Mom


amy turn sharp of doobleh-vay said...

ah babe! I know that feeling! xoxoxox hugs

Kelly said...

We are building a new home with a pool right now and you guys can come join us...seriously! Thanks for the heads up.. I will file that in my list of things not to do as an owner of a swimming pool ;)

Queen B said...

Excellent point!!

Kelly said...

If you didn't live in California and if you weren't talking about pools instead of playdates in general I would SO think that we have the same "friends"!! I feel your pain!

Jennifer, Playgroups Are No Place For Children said...


I couldn't agree more with this. It drives me crazy for people to say stuff like this IN FRONT OF THE KIDS and then never actually call and invite you!

Keetha said...

You are sooooo funny.

I don't have a pool, nor did I ever invite you over - - - but I read the whole thing anyway!!!

Kelsey said...

Oh I so know that feeling!

The Andrus' said...

Hey I 2nd you on the pool blog, but it should also go for all of the other fun things too... trampoline, zip-line, etc! It's bad when friends do this and even worse when family does it! Give the kids a hug and love them with something else fun!

ShannanB aka Mommy Bits said...

Augh, I hate that. I have a friend that does it all the time. She says things about playdates in front of the boys and then never follows through. Drives me crazy and my boys end up thinking I am the bad guy.

Soliloquy said...

I'm so with you on this one. We have neighbors at the top of the street who have a pool. Funny thing is - we NEVER see them until pool season is over.


So they don't have to invite anyone over to swim.

I totally get it though. With "the Haskells" across the street - if you invite one, you have to invite all six.

So NO ONE ever gets invited. Ever.

I gotta' say this though - it does make me feel used. You send your kid down to be occupied by my kids in the fall and winter and spring - but don't reciprocate in the summer?

I understand it - but I don't like it.

Steph T. said...

No pool here, but substitue the word BIO DAD in there and it fits our house. "I'll call ya" but never does.

Kids are not stupid! They remember every.single.thing.

Another thing is as a parent, someone once told me, NEVER tell a kid "maybe" because they only hear "YES". So tell them "NO" and change your mind to yes.

Baseball Mom said...

Great post. It falls true for so many things. Thanks ;)

kia (good enough mama) said...

I plead guilty. Not to the pool thing, but to having a giant sandbox and casually mentioning to so and so that they could come over "any time" to play in the sand. Then I never invite them. I think it's because I WANT to be that generous person whose home is open to everyone, but really? I'm not. That's my excuse...