Monday, June 15, 2009

A Few Thoughts On Commitment

commitment |kəˈmitmənt|
1 the act of committing or the state of being committed.
• dedication; application : the company's commitment to quality.
• a pledge or undertaking : I cannot make such a commitment at the moment.
• an act of pledging or setting aside something : there must be a major commitment of money and time.
2 (usu. commitments) an engagement or obligation that restricts freedom of action : business commitments | young people delay major commitments including marriage and children.
(copied from my computer's dictionary)

I am adamant that my children learn what commitment means. It seems that far too many people lately will make a commitment and not follow through, blow it off.

Nothing makes me crazier.

Many years ago when Headless Girl was a small child we had to explain commitment to her through tears in her eyes. Her heart broken when an adult promised something to her that they couldn't or wouldn't deliver. It's not fun, not right to have to explain that some people don't believe that commitment is pledge, promise, obligation.

Recently I have been witness to a couple of adults blow it in front of two groups of children. Children that counted on them for guidance, direction, and organization, and I am still stewing about it. They quit. Plain and simple. And it sucks.

These people have, for years, volunteered with children and now I refuse to have them be in a leadership position with my children.

Again, I find myself in a position of having to explain the lack of commitment to children. My boys are wondering what happened to these people and I have no good answer. Yes there is a 'simple' answer, but it doesn't explain why they completely left and abandoned their commitments. We have other theories, but they are just that. Theories.

I don't want my children to think that to quit in the middle of a commitment is ever OK. I don't ever want to model that to them. I want them to remember the disappointment of having someone quit on them so that they never do it to someone else.

Because it just plain sucks.

Headless Mom


Stesha said...

This is so very true. We teach our children to always strive to be a reliable people.

Hugs and Mocha,

kyooty said...

This is a lesson that so many need to learn. I would also like for people to say "no" when they are seriously spread too thin.

Ramblin' Red said...

I think that more and more commitmement doesn't exist in American society, which is sad considering we were once a nation that took people for their word.

(hugs) I hate when people flake out too. We have commitment issues with the young adults/marrieds group we lead at our church and it drives Charlie Brown and me crazy.

Mary (MPJ) said...

I'm finally catching up on your blog (it's hard to get around to blog reading). So sorry to hear your kids have been disappointed. That kind of thing is hard to watch.

And (on a totally different subject) I'm wondering what happened with the rats! Are they all gone?

Rocks In The Wash said...

Nothing makes me more crazy than that of "lack of follow through"; personally I think it's just as bad as someone lying to me!

((HUGS)) to your kids; it's a tough lesson to learn but hopefully it will make them better and stronger for when they get older!

becca said...

I couldn't agree more. Breaking a commitment= lying and I have started teaching this to my kids at a very early age. And to see your children hurt by someone else's lack of commitment is so hard to see. I have also taught my kids and my husband to never use the word "promise" if they can't follow through. The result can be devastating if they do.