Wednesday, June 3, 2009

What Now?

Edited at the bottom of the post.

So this note came home today, attached to some unfinished classwork:

Dear Mr and Mrs Headless,
XXXX's study habits are very disappointing to me. I'm wondering if it's beyond his control and he may need a medical evaluation.
XXXX's teacher

My stomach is in knots. I feel like I'm going to throw up.

It was hand written, and that is all that it said. No, "Hey lets get together and talk about this," or "I'll call to talk more about this."

I want to cry. I'm scared. I don't know what this means.

We've been working with him all year on getting classwork done but on todays' work, he said that he wasn't the only one that didn't finish, but the only one that was required to bring the work home, (per our instructions. We have asked that he bring home anything that is not finished in a day.)

Are there any teachers out there that can help me? (Elementary teachers.) Is there any situation that you would have written the same note? What, as a teacher, do you think?

What do you think it means? What would you do? (I'm planning on doing nothing until I talk to HD about it, and then talking to the teacher. But seriously? WTH?)

I'm trying not to panic here.

EDITED: I was at the school today for another reason and tried to stop in to see Teacher X to see if we could set up a time to talk. Wait for it...Gone. Yep, gone for today and tomorrow. She dropped that bomb and bolted out of town. Nice. I can't even express how I feel about this, but thought you all should know that there won't be anything new until next week. Ugh.

Headless Mom


Tracey said...

I teach 5th grade and I may have written the "study habits are very disappointing to me," part but NEVER THE REST! She may feel that your son needs some extra help but this was a very rude and inconsiderate way of stating it. I would make a copy of the note and yes, speak to the teacher and depending on what teacher says ...if she is still this RUDE...speak to the principal and share the note with him...UGGHHH...sorry this happened.

Rocks In The Wash said...

1st: Poor judgement on the teacher's part in not calling you. Writing a note like that is pure laziness and unacceptable in my mind!

2nd: Call the teacher and ask them straight up of what they are implying before you make yourself crazy.

As far as I know, teachers are not allowed to "suggest" medicating children; thus suggesting a "medical" visit. My guess is, is that the teacher is trying to suggest that there is an attention issue with out actually coming out and saying it.

Our nephew was just diagnosed with ADHD a year ago. He too has diabetes and the parents always thought it was all due to his sugar levels; high or low, but come to find out they tested him and does have ADHD. In his case, he's doing great on his med's and he even notices that he can focus.

...however... summer is almost here and really.. who can focus right now?!

Keetha Broyles said...

I'm not an elementary teacher, but here is what I think it means:

1) The teacher made a very poor choice. Such a note should NEVER have been sent home. It shows a severe lack of wisdom on his/her part.

2) The teacher is tired and at her "end of the school year" rope's end.

3) Your headless boy has a lot of energy - - - still - - - even at the end of the school year.

4) There are MANY plans that could be put into place LONG BEFORE anyone discusses medication. That teacher is NOT a doctor.

5) What about using a little assignment book in the following manner: Have headless boy WRITE his assignments down each day in the book, have "tactless" teacher sign at the end of the day that those assignments ARE indeed correct. Have BRILLIANT, caring, loving mom check each night to make sure those assignments are completed and returned to school.

6) Breath a sigh of relief that school is nearly out for the summer and ALL these things can be addressed next school year.

7) Albert Einstein didn't do well in school.

I'm here for ya!!!!

Keetha Broyles said...

Don't "breath," breathe please!

And, though I am NOT an elementary teacher, I DO teach Junior High - - - 6th -8th grade EVERY DAY and would NEVER put that in a note or an e-mail to a parent, or even say it during a CONFERENCE.

Kelly said...

My jaw is on the floor. Has this teacher discussed concerns before now or is the first you are hearing from the teacher about trouble at school?

The note was inappropriate in my opinion, a face to face conference would have been more along the right lines. Not very smart to put that in writing either.

I would call the teacher and ask to meet with him/her tomorrow after school. Call me if you want to chat.

Deborah Pucci said...

Your know your own son, don't you think if it was something really serious you would have noticed by now. Sometimes it's as simple as getting them help with a tutor. Our daughter was tutored one year and it was a matter of getting her priorities straight. What comes first, what comes second and what is third. It was all about direction & where to start. It really helped. Like I just started a cleaning list for household chores because when I look at the big picture it is overwhelming and I don't know were to start. I think the teacher was very wrong in sending the note home like that.

Carmen said...

Dude. I had this BRILLIANT comment laid out - and Keetha STOLE it from me.

Seriously. She's said it most awesomely.

Call me if you want to chat. Hugs.

Anonymous said...

Hunt her down...OMG, I would have popped a vein on that teacher, so I'm not a good one for advice. I'll pray that yo0u have the right words, and that it all works out smoothly. (and that you don't pop a vein) Good luck honey!

Liz@thisfullhouse said...

What the heck is it with some teachers, these days? Are you serious? A note? Bad form, indeed. Actually, I think your son's teacher is the one with the problem. I mean, heaven forbid she did anything positive to help your son. Right? Teachers like him/her scare me. Good luck.

Anonymous said...

As the daughter/sister to 3 elementary educators, I am horrified by this. Let me take one moment to say that I just fell in love with Keetha!

I think you should print out these comments and show them to the teacher. More seriously, after that little note, I wonder how much of HB's struggles have to do with the teacher's approach to him.

All that being said.....I do know that it is hard for parents to realize when their child is having an issue that requires additional help. I am NOT suggesting that medication is needed, but maybe something else is. I have a neighbor who gets very flustered everytime a teacher mentions that her son requires so much extra attention in the classroom. And I always want to gently remind her that her son needs extra attention EV.ERY.WHERE! And HELLO??!!

All I'm saying is that first and foremost, this teacher needs a lesson in ettiquette and compassion, and that you should let this year pass and see what happens next year. If HB continues to struggle, then you'll know you have some research to do.

Hang in there. And don't stress yet. He's a great kid!

kyooty said...

Up here they aren't allowed ot say anything about "medical" ideas, they are teachers not doctors. They say things so that you come to that idea on your own but they aren't allowed to imply that they are diagnosing your child. I would call and see both the principal, and the teacher. I have a friend on an elist (remember those?) and she's been jumping through some hoops for her daughter but every email sounds more and more like the teacher should have retired or picked another profession.
I wonder if maybe the teacher is ready for summer?