Wednesday, September 30, 2009

When the worry catches up with me

My grandmother lived until she was 101, and she would have attributed that, in part, to not worrying about the things that you have no control over. For the most part I live by this as well but I'm finding that as a mother, the older I get I'm less able to let go of the worry.

Son with asthma? Check

Husband with back and shoulder issues? Check

Daughter in college? Check.

These things I only mildly worry over, like when my son has an attack, or my husband dislocates his shoulder. (Yes, that happened 2 weeks ago and I haven't blogged it yet.) We take care of the problem and move on just like we should, but there has been something that has been nagging me.

That breast lump and pain I've talked about? It's back, well, it actually never went away and today I saw my doctor.

Despite doctors and imaging, and that sort of thing, they are still sending me to the surgeon. My appointment is for next Tuesday. Yay, I have a week to worry.

So with this, and a huge thing that is unbloggable, I'm swimming in the worry, and on the verge of tears.

But, Hey!, the weather seems to be cooperating and it's not 105 anymore, so there's that.

Headless Mom


Kristi Nommensen Dorson said...

I'm a chronic worrier. Someone once told me "worrying only borrows trouble". Since I heard that, it's become something of a mantra when I catch myself freaking out a little over something I can't, for the time being, do anything about.

So hang in there, and try not to borrow trouble for the next week. Good luck.

Just Breathe said...

The weather is so much better. What a relief. We can't help but worry. These are the people we love and when they hurt, we hurt.
I did come upon this:

Let go of the fear and the regret that slow us down and keep us from enjoying a journey that will be over too soon.

Author Unknown

I think your grandmother was a very wise lady.

Anonymous said...

I think the best thing to do right now is take direction from the commenter above me.....Just Breathe.

Good things...breathe in.....Bad things....breathe out.

Sounds silly but I once had a Hawaiian style massage (I think it's called lomi lomi) and every movement of the massage has a meaning. That is what the gal kept telling me....light of goodness.....bad feelings out. I was going through a really bad patch with my divorce and kept imagining only good blessings with every breathe in and all the heartache and pain out with every breathe.

Now, maybe I'm just a sucker for that kind of stuff but it really helped me to relax. I still do that kind of visualization today when I start getting panicky.

You will be in my prayers this week. Tons of love and bigs hugs are sent with this comment!

-The Mom

Kelly said...

love, hugs and prayers!!!

Anonymous said...

As someone else already said -- just breathe...

becca said...

I am also a chronic worrier and make the smallest thing into a mountain of worry. So I'm not one to give advice but what everyone said above is so true and very wise (I'll be borrowing their advice too). You can't worry about the unknown so busy yourself this week, enjoy something in every day and try to not think too much about it. I'll be thinking of you!

kyooty said...

hugs! I have the same kind of bump, I'm booking an appointment for November (Birthday month so I remember) and getting it checked out again. I've noticed mine fluctates in size due to cyclical changes, and it also seems to be worse when I drink more caffeine?
I have also notice the poking and checking said bump increases the soreness? you know? If it's smaller one day I freak out that it's not there?

The Unbloggable? you know where to find me my inbox is always open for a chat!

Steph said...

Now I have a better idea why you've been having some afternoon headaches. Man I need to add my RSS feeds back in, so I don't get behind.

I will say extra prayers for you and your worry...and headaches, and lump and pain.

I love you my friend. I'm always home for a phone chat/FB chat email chat at any time for you!!!

The Glamorous Life said...

Oh my.
I am sure the boobie thing is NOTHING. And all the other stuff? You can handle it.

I am sure of it.

But until then? alcohol helps.
Just sayin.

AmazingGreis said...

I hope that all is well. Know that I am here and ALWAYS a phone call away (since you don't text) if you EVER need to talk/vent or anything at all!!!