Thinking About Blogging. No, Really, That's What I'm Thinking About.

I've been thinking a lot lately about my place in the blogosphere. I've loved it here for two years, I've made a happy home for myself. I have some fantastic friends and readers, and have been able to have some fantastic opportunities that I would never have had otherwise.

Oops, before I go on, I know that this sounds like one of those "I'm gonna shut it down" type of posts. It's not.

Last night I popped over to read what Heather has been writing. (If you don't know who I'm talking about then email me. She's big. So big, in fact, that I won't link it because some will think I'm writing about her for the hits. I'm not.) I find her fascinating. I find it fascinating that she has enough 'haters' that she can devote a whole page on her website to them. She had a family member pass away this week, and even in the midst of her grief the haters still come. And still post awful things in the comments. Really? Is this who we are?

If our president has called for change, then it has to start at home, with us. With who we essentially are. If we have these kinds of people around us, then who are we really? When Katrina hit the gulf coast, millions sent money or went to help. When someone in our families die, shouldn't we, at the least, offer soft messages of condolence? I may not like our president, but he's got a point about changing who we are. I don't think that the examples of what I saw on Heather's site will be getting us anywhere, anytime soon.

I don't get many hits. The posts where I get more than a few comments are few and far between. My BlogHer checks aren't very big. I don't have many corporations banging down my door to do big reviews for them. I'm not even big enough to have haters. I'd like to think that my little circle is more than that, though. I think that I have found a circle of friends in cyberspace that would be my friends even if they/you lived down the block. (Hey, that would be fun! Cocktail parties every Friday!)

This isn't even a post about friends. Or the lack of them. Nope.

They say persistence is the key, in blogging and in life. There are many things that I am persistent in. Bed times, for one. Dinner, as a family, for another. I am persistent in blogging to a point, I think. I keep you all updated on all of the headlessness around here. I toss in some photos, some memes, recipes. But what really brings people here? And where do I draw the proverbial line in the sand between writing for you and writing for me?

In some ways I write for me, and me alone, but to be honest, You, my reader, is always in my mind. If I were truly to write for me, I'd be writing more posts on things that I'm not sure you want to hear, or that I don't necessarily want you to know. Am I now not being 'transparent'? I'm honest in what I do write about but does that make me dishonest that I don't put it all out there? Would you really want to read about my anxieties and fears when others write about them so much more eloquently than I?

If I was writing for "you" alone, (read: 'the hits') I'd probably be surfing the internet for Today's Hot Topic, and boring you with more of the same commentary on Jon and Kate or health care or the Broncos going 5-0. Would those things get me more hits? Maybe, but is that the community that I want? Would my voice stand out amidst all of the others out there? I doubt it.

I've found that I say way more about myself when I'm commenting on other's blogs than I do here. Why is that? I leave my link with "Headless Mom". You know who I am, or how to find me. Then you get here and get my fluff. Why do I do that? I was reading another post last night that left me close to tears and I left a bare comment about myself and my short-comings as a mom. Why wouldn't I just post it here? I'm not sure.

I'm actually not even sure what this post is about except to say that I'm thinking a lot lately, but not coming up with any answers.