Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Last Night

Not as in yesterday, Tuesday, but as in HURRAY this is the last night of NaBloPoMo!

This is the 4th year that I've participated but the first that I've hated almost every minute. It was not a writing exercise this year but a chore. Believe me, you won't hear from me again for a few days. I've had no inspiration, no motivation. I'm sorry that you've had to read my drivel for the last 4 weeks. OK, who am I kidding. You didn't HAVE to do anything. So, most importantly Thank You for sticking around for my drivel. You are pretty.

One of the reasons that I've had such a hard time with it this year is that my laptop is the only computer in the house. In the evenings since football has been over the boys have taken to taking over. They watch YouTube videos all.damn.night. Video game commentaries mostly. (Don't get me started on the fact that we're on our 3rd XBOX and it now DOESN'T WORK. #microsoftcansuckit )So. By the time that I get my computer back so I can actually write it's after 9pm, sometimes later than that, and it's hard to pound out a post when your shows are on and you're trying to write something inspired. (I know.)

Another reason is that I'm having a hard time with blogging in general lately. The boys are getting older and many of their stories aren't mine to tell anymore. I know that's totally a cliche now, and I hope to find my way around it, but I can't help but to at least be more sensitive to them now. I'm also finding that there seems to be people that have a problem with 'normal kids.' Let me explain. There are brilliant bloggers out there that have beautiful and eloquent things to say about their kids that have challenges. (Think spectrum/health issues, and the like.) My kids are great and smart, and yes sometimes challenging, but all in very normal ways. Not big stories here.

I'll also add (to the problems with blogging in general) that I'm having a hard time knowing where I fit in these days. Is blogging a dying art? I feel like the blogging that I knew when I started is dying, and the blogging that people refer to now is totally different. With the exception of my close friends, I don't see much community anymore. Well, it's shrinking anyway. Which makes me incredibly sad because this community has propped me up, given me purpose, and made me laugh more than any other in my adult life. I don't want to lose this but I'm not sure that I want it in the form that is emerging, either.

No answers, just more questions. But still, thank goodness NaBloPoMo is over.

Headless Mom


Diana said...

This makes me so sad to read, but I'm very proud of you for hanging in there when you didn't want or have to. It's been nice hearing from you.

Melisa Wells said...

You are pretty, too. :)

I'm sorry you're struggling. It IS a big transition to make when your kids are older and you just can't blog every cute little thing they do. Sometimes it takes a little longer to figure out what to write about. But stick with it! (after your few days off, that is!) If you have to tell your family that you need your computer on MWF evenings, do that! (or blog in the morning?)

Don't go. :) And congrats for finishing NaBloPoMo. Yay you!

carmen said...

NABloPoMo was just hard this year. I struggled with it as well. I like to blog daily, but don't like the pressure of you!can!never!take!a!day!offffffff!!!

xoxoxo - I'm here, reading every day, even if it's just your grocery list. I just suck at commenting.

Capt'n Sam said...

Now you have something to really Blog about, Your Trees!!!!

Shannon Entin said...

I totally get it. I've struggled, too. Struggled and changed direction again and again. I'm pretty much done blogging about my kids. It's all about me now. And I know everyone is waiting on THAT with baited breath. Heh.

Don't go. We'll miss you. {cough *Blissdom?* cough}

Liz@thisfullhouse said...

This is the very reason I have never NaBloPoMo'd before. Pokes at my inner-12-year-old into not wanting to do something because it is expected.

Congrats on finishing and I really do hope you continue and allow me the chance to at least visit you here.

Also, you write good ;)

Neena said...

I tried to participate. I made it about 2 weeks and then I missed a ton of days. At least the attempt was there!