Wednesday, June 8, 2011

No, I'm not 13.

If you're male, you may just move along. There is nothing for you to see here today... No offense. Seriously. Bye.

Most of you voted for Duh! You'd think I was 13 again in my Pick Your Story vote. Here ya go!

I think I got my period for the first time when I was around 12 or 13. It was kind of a non-event, really. If I remember correctly I was at a friend's house for a sleepover and started, used something of hers, and that was that. So, by that math, I've had a period for about 30 years now.

You'd think I'd be used to it? You'd think I would know what to do, right?

Ha! You'd be wrong.

When I was leaving for my trip last weekend I grabbed a small travel bag of 'feminine products' to throw in my bag 'just in case'. I didn't think I'd need them, but better safe than sorry, right? (This would be foreshadowing, right here.)

Kelly, one of my oldest and best friends, met me in Las Vegas for my bowling weekend. I picked her up at the airport and we headed for the strip to do some shopping. Later, we met a friend of hers for lunch and were walking around, shopping, chatting, and generally having fun. We ducked in to White House/Black Market to see what we could find. (Kelly and I are planning our 25th class reunion together and really need something cute to wear because of course, we have to look smashing!) As I was taking off my sundress to try something on, I gasped in horror. Yes, I had started my period.

And left all of my 'stuff' in the car, back at a hotel on the strip, about 5 miles away.

Helllllll-oooooo!

Honestly. Who does that? (Well, obviously I do. Not the point.) It's not like I'm new to this whole "being a woman" thing. I mean, yes, I have had issues with my periods for a few years now, and am firmly in the 'perimenupausal' category, (hot flashes and all! Aren't you glad you asked?), but really? How does one, at almost 43 years of age, 'forget' that one's period is coming? Or not know at.all.?

OK, well, in my defense, my periods have been highly irregular for the last few years. And with Headless Girl moving home a month ago, well, we all know how mixing hormones goes. And, when hormones mix, periods get horrendous.

So you know what's coming next, right? By the middle of the night I had awful cramps and was bleeding like a stuck pig. You're welcome. (Yet another side effect of the 'change'. Fun, I know. You young girls take note!) I actually had to change my underwear 3 times because of, um, problems. I haven't done that since... um, well, since I was 13 maybe? Sheesh. I even had to go buy more 'stuff' because I didn't end up having enough with me.

So yeah. Not 13. When will this be over? Soon, please!

PS- You'll be happy to know that I passed along the raging-hormone-luv to my good friend. Friends share everything, right? (Sorry, Kelly. I swear I would have kept them to myself if I could have.)

*****

Have you gotten your Shabby Apple discount code yet?

Headless Mom

13 comments:

Debby@Just Breathe said...

Really sorry that happened to you.
I must say I don't miss mine at all!

Alison@Mama Wants This said...

Gah, periods. I must say, I'm hoping for mine to return after 2 years (pregnancy, breastfeeding), but still, nada. Only because I want another baby and I have no idea if I'm ovulating. But I must say, I don't miss it, it's kinda nice.

Stopping by from lovelinks #10.

Anna See said...

Ugh. If it helps, I still get caught by surprise...

HolyMama! said...

oh... what a lovely surprise element to your trip?! Sorry. but when faced with the 'highly irregular' bit, of COURSE it'll happen when you're not expecting it. i bet vegas is a great place to stock up on spare lingerie, though... : )

Rocks In The Wash said...

I hate those "surprise" visits; they suck!

I giggled when you mentioned "mixing hormones" in adding additional girls to the mix. Remember the sorority house?! Yep, 22 girls under one roof = raging hormones in every way imaginable. [...and I would do it all over agin in a minute!]

Teresa said...

I'm right there with you on the perimenopausal boat...but when periods have always been irregular and you NEVER know when they're coming, it just adds another level of fun altogether, let me tell ya!! :)

Stimey said...

I hate periods. Just hate everything about them. And it is always the most inconvenient timing, isn't it?

Diana said...

The one good thing that comes with having PCOS, no periods -- and I don't miss 'em a bit.

kyooty said...

I've heard people use the term "TOM" for time of the Month and then suddenly change to TOW! time of whenever...

Lin said...

You're so not alone in this craziness that is irregular periods. Mine has been crazy heavy this month since it's my first month w/out birth control.

No joke, I cried in my work bathroom yesterday because I had flashbacks to high school days when I used to carry extra clothes, you know 'just incase'. Sometimes it really sucks being a girl :(

Kelly said...

in the vein of full disclosure, Headless mom not only shared the period starting hormones and out of the blue period arrival...she also shared the not prepared like I'm 13 again aspect (ie...white pants on a plane, OYE!) I'm going to be prepared when I move into the Headless home for a week next month!! xo

Headless Mom said...

Kelly,

You'll be happy to know that I took care of that this week on vacation.

I'm a giver.

xoxo

Kelly said...

I'm going to wear a pad around just in case...lmao!