Thursday, October 16, 2008

Headless Girl Goes to College-And Tells Us About It!

So many of you have asked about how Headless Girl is doing in college: how she likes it, if she's doing OK in her classes, all the usual questions. I am going to post some of the conversation from the comments, and add my motherly insight when I can. (You can read all of the questions and commentary here.)

First question from Auds at Barking Mad:

From one mom of a college freshman to another, what sort of unexpected changes have occurred in your household since she left for college and how are you dealing with them?
The biggest thing, at least from my end is turning around and thinking that she is supposed to be there, like I wrote in this post. Then there are the little things. Need 1 more ingredient for dinner? Call HG who is on the way home from cheer practice. Want to go on a 5 mile walk on a Saturday morning? Just make sure the boys are fed, let her know you're going, and Get Moving! Not that it is a big deal but it changes things that we had gotten used to.

And Steph from Serenity Now! asks:
Yep - I ditto Aud's question I want to know what I'm in for/up for/down know I'm already freaking out and she's going to stay at home for college for at least a year...she says two but I seriously doubt it.

It's college prep time, and I'm about to start drinking...
Steph, I strongly suggest the drinking. Kidding! So far the key for me has been keeping my cool. Stop the freaking out. She'll be around for another year after graduation and you have plenty of time to navigate what that means for your family. We started relaxing rules for HG and allowing her to ease into making her own decisions during her senior year. She's a great kid and makes good decisions so she deserved that. That had an added bonus of letting us see that she could make and own her decisions and live with the consequences-good or bad. As moms we want to take care of our kids and shield them from the bad parts of life but in reality this is the time that they have to spread their wings and put the principals in place that we have tried to teach them for the last 18 years. I just hope that when it gets to be too much she always knows that we're here for that soft place to land.

Some of the ways that we are dealing with the changes that college has brought to our family is being at church. On the most basic level it is because she is there every Sunday and we want to see her if she hasn't been by the house during the week. But there is a deeper comfort there, the calm that comes from knowing that she is God's first, and that He cares about her more than we do (is that possible?) and can take care of her better than anyone. We have to have faith that He will. At church she is surrounded by a family that has loved her for 10 years and we know that if anything were to happen they would stand in the gap for her-and for us.

HG really put her heart out there, and if you haven't read the original post, do. It gives a lot of insight into what college freshmen are going through at this point in the semester-I think that much of what HG is going through is pretty universal. (Thankfully she is not handling it like Sam The Butcher and I did. )

Thanks for tuning in to this installment of my answers. Remember that if I haven't gotten to your question yet, I will!

Headless Mom


Anonymous said...

(Thankfully she is not handling it like Sam The Butcher and I did. )
Ya'll lived through it just like she will. There are a lot of life's lessons that have to be learned. She will weather all the ups and downs and be a better person for it.
Such is life !!!!

Kathy said...


Sue Wilkey said...

This post is such a gidt to me: becaue my girls are 11 and 8 - and sometimes I forget that there will come a day when they'll be gone. So thank you - for reminding me to treasure every moment. :)

Sue Wilkey said...

sorry -gift - I had a few margaritas. said...

It's going to happen sooner than we think for us.

What a lucky, lucky girl to have such a solid family supporting her through all the changes in her life. She - and you - are all so blessed.

Mike said...

Ahh...I can't imagine Maddie leaving and going off to college...but I know my wife and her Mom and just as close now as ever, so the parent/kid dynamic will stay strong!

headless girl :] said...

they fixed the room!!!!

i love it now..
i feel better

thanks for dinner

Anonymous said...

Thanks Headless Mom! You're such a sweetheart for the advice. I'm trying to take some of it now. I'll let you know how I do. And I'm going to send Hubby here so he can be on the same page as me...

You are such a super awesome Headless Family...

Lots o' comment love!