Tuesday, September 1, 2009


One of the things I dreamt of when I started this blog was friendship. I saw lots of women all around the blogosphere with great friends to link to, stories of shopping trips and lunches with the girls, and lots of laughing at shared jokes, kids that are best friends.

I have made no secret that I don't have many friends. Well, let me clarify. I have LOTS of friends: many of them live in my home state about a thousand miles from here. I have some friends here, but they work, and it's a little hard to have friends on opposite schedules. I have time during the day while the kids are at school and many of them just aren't available.

Maybe it was a pipe dream, but I was really hoping to find some women close (relatively at least) that I could maybe, just maybe, develop a friendship with.

I have made lots of friends, and even met some of them thanks to BlogHer '08 and '09 but it has been nothing like I had imagined. No giggling phone calls or long lunches at some half way point between the two of us.

OK, here is where I insert that I know that I make my actual location pretty vague. (That is on purpose.) But I have also been pretty open with most people if/when they ask, and we have developed some kind of relationship. I feel like I've reached out in a number of ways to a number of different people without seeming pushy or stalkerish. (And no, I'm not talking to you. At All. Or you either.)

So I've decided that it's me. I don't know exactly what about me, but me, nonetheless.

Although I know that I can't blame it on bad breath. Unless they developed smell-o-net without telling me.

Funny...having a pal in Idaho wasn't in the plan, but that is one of the best things about this that I didn't count on. I'm learning, again, that making friends is hard for me but the benefits, when they come, are more than worth it.

Headless Mom


Anonymous said...

If only you still lived in Colorado...

Just Breathe said...

Thanks for saying it isn't me but lets face it, it's been hard to get me to leave my house. I really am trying to push myself. I so much want to be a better friend. I have so many people/friends that have been trying for a few years to get me to go out. You know that I love you. (it's not you) Thank you so much for talking about this even though you weren't talking about me because I had no idea how selfish I am. God Bless you my dear friend.

kyooty said...

I'm wayyyyyyyyyyy out here in Canada, like the other side, that's my biggest disadvantage in this whole friend ship thing. I think you are a wonderful friend. BTW we ended up with a Dodge again.

AmazingGreis said...

I would absolutely drive 1/2 way to meet you for lunch, except 1/2 way would be more than just a lunch date for us! I wish we lived closer. I miss my BlogHer09 roomie!!!!

Keetha Broyles said...

I feel sad about you feeling this way. I want you to know that since day one and the residue of that goofy trash can, I HAVE felt that you were my friend. I love you to pieces.

Now, I'm not much of a telephone talker, so never even THOUGHT to ask you for your number, but I'd be VERY giggly if we ever had a call - - - I'd be excited down to the tips of my very ugly, old gramma school shoes - - - if we ever DID talk on the phone.

I'd LOVE to meet you halfway for lunch - - - but we'd have to plan to leave at LEAST two days BEFORE lunch time just to make it.

I've never been any closer to your state than South Dakota, and I was only about 6 at the time and you weren't born, or were still in diapers.

So - - - PLEASE, what do I NEED TO DO to be your friend, because you are already mine!!!!

And here's an old HS yearbook "thing" to prove it - - - - LYLAS!!!!

Employee No. 3699 said...

I really enjoyed chatting with you at BlogHer. I'm not home during the day, but I'm a phonaholic in the evening if you're ever so inclined.

Rocks In The Wash said...

I miss you my "friend"!!! I miss all of the fun and troubles we caused for one another; going to classes in our bathrobes, functions and more. Thankfully, I have such fond memories of causing caos together that I believe they will be with me eternally!

Oh.. and M tells me I'm not allowed to share any of the stories with the boys!!!

anymommy said...

I hear you, it's hard to make friends and keep them around all the rest of life. xo

Kelly said...

Here comes the cold hard truth...
from a friend who has known you since you had baby teeth, braces, a blue prom dress, shall I go on?

The truth is that anyone missing out on friendship with you is missing out. You speak your mind, you give great advice and you are smart, funny and above ALL else, REAL. That might be the part that some of these gals are having a problem with. Sure it is easy to be cute as a bug on your blog, perfect mom and wife, witty and fun. Those things are easy when you can post (and edit) your own photos, write around the yucky stuff and omit the boring day to day.

It hurts to lose friends, it hurts when you realize one day that the people you thought were your friends really aren't. (oops we were supposed to be talking about YOU!) I know you are open to all the possibilities out there for true friendship and I KNOW there is a BFF closer than 1000 miles from you. Hang in there sweetie!

At the end of the day when you tuck in those kiddos just know that proximity isn't ALWAYS the most important part of friendship.


Carmen said...

I count you as a friend - I hope you count me as one.

Living on different coasts, and having a ton of kids with sports schedules between us - it makes it difficult to have a phone conversation - but we can keep trying!

Steph said...

...it's my turn to come have lunch with you! And it's gonna happen!!! I need to meet the rest of your Headless family...becaus if they are anything like you - I am going to LOVE them too!!!!

...missin my new IRL friend!!!!!

Thanks for making me cry!

PS...I sat next to her all night, she doesn't have bad breath! :) LOL