Monday, February 9, 2009

Jeans (Alternate title: Why Vanity Sizing Can Kiss My Booty)

A few weeks ago I went into the Gap Outlet with a gift card in hand that I had received some time back. With the economy the way that it is, and stores folding like a Hallmark card, I've decided to spend the cards that I have so I don't lose the money. I have not had much luck at any Gap store lately so I was prepared to get a top and call it a day.

I used to love the Gap. You know, the days in the late '80's and early '90's when you could buy one of everything, and it would go with most of what you already had in your closet? I had multiple pairs of Gap jeans, skirts, the works. And don't get me started on the Gap t-shirt. Most every color, my friends. And don't tell me you didn't, too. I just won't believe it because we all had them.

Since I don't get to shop often I just grabbed things that I thought were cute, piled my arms full, and headed to the dressing room hoping that I had the right sizes. I tried on short sleeve tops and long sleeve tops, sweaters, sweats, and OH MY GOODNESS who failed to fill me in on the amazingness that is the yoga pant? 20 lashes for you (with a wet noodle, of course,) because how I have lived without them is beyond me.

(Here is where you are probably going, "Hey Headless! Your title is 'jeans' and you're talking about yoga pants? What's up?" It's all in the build up. Follow, please.)

My favorite pair of jeans were black and went everywhere with me. Circa 1995, they were the old school high-waisted jeans (don't laugh, you wore them too!), and were the jeans that I wore on my first date with Headless Dad. For this reason, they still hang in my closet. They are a size 10.

In my trying on session at the outlet I grabbed a pair of jeans that looked cute. I did not have much faith in the Gap jean, as for the last 8-10 years I have not found one pair of pants or jeans there that fit me anywhere-waist, butt, length, nothing. But hey, I was there, and I might as well try, right?

You could have knocked me over with a feather when I tried on these jeans. They fit p.e.r.f.e.c.t. Not too high or low in the waist, long enough, dark wash, cute pockets that don't make my butt look, well, saggy or otherwise weird.

They are a size 8.

Which brings me back to my title.

I weigh, at minimum, 15 pounds heavier than when I met HD. I had not yet had children, which caused my hips to permanently widen. I know that these jeans are cut differently, but are you serious? I love being in a size 8, but looking at these 2 pairs of jeans, side by side? I am not stupid. I am not brainwashed to think "Ooh! I'm smaller than I was 14 years ago!"

Really, look at this:
(Please ignore the dust lines on the black ones. I said they hang in my closet; I did not say that I wear them. Mostly because I can't. And they are hopelessly out of style. And too short.)

Am I wrong? How about a closer look:
Yes, photographic evidence that my new size 8s are a full inch wider than my old size 10s. Need more evidence? I think not.

Headless Mom


Soliloquy said...

Small sells, baby.

But consider this. At Victoria's Secret, Vanity Sizing goes the other direction.

Big sells, baby.

Can someone tell my body what size clothes I'm wearing? Apparently, it doesn't know I should be 36" - 24" - 36" according to Gap and Victoria's Secret.

Natalie said...

maybe you wore and washed the black ones so much that they shrunk down to their now size 6 look. maybe you were really a size 6 way back then!

(hey, i'm only trying to help!)

kyooty said...


kyooty said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sam said...

Yeah...I'm not sure what's wrong with measuring in inches, but I'm a guy. :) I agree, vanity sizing sucks.

And to Soliloquy - my wife went recently to be properly measured for a bra and needless to say, none of her current bras were of the right size.

Consider me glad to be a guy when the topic of clothes comes up. :)

Anonymous said...

"20 lashes with a wet noodle" Love it! I use to say that all the time! :) I used to have a love affair with the Gap too....I even managed several right after college. Now, I have a very hard time shopping for jeans and basics don't seem appropriate anymore....we've all gotten so "fashion forward". We do look good though and if Gap wants to tell me that I am now a size 6 instead of an 8....who am I to stop them? I like that whole bliss of ignorance, thank you very much ;)

The Glamorous Life said...

As usual your post has inspired a post to come on my own site for certain. But here are the basics:

I once worked in a FANCY dress store. And I may or maynot have gone in the back room to quickly change a size 14 tag to a size ten tag for a customer who although a size 14, insisted she was a 10.

Annnnnddd I have working in the apparel industry for over 20 years. And the 'specs' of sizes and garments have changed..drastically. For instance Marilyn Monroe was a size 12. WHat? But if you look at the actual measurements of her garments, it is equivalent to a Size 4. Nope. Not kidding.

Depressing huh. And still? A size 8-10-whatever is great. Happy for you.

wow long comment.
do I win a Gap Card for this?

Sarah, Goon SquadSarah said...

I prefer vanity sizing. I know what it is but it still makes me feel better.

Steph said...

Oh to be a size 8 - all sizing asside...God job Headless!!! :)

Steph said...

PS...I didn't mean to put to "ss" if you can fix it...please????

I'm sooo sorry!