Time and Again

The funny thing about time is... well, it never stops.

See, in my head is till feel like I'm about 25. The mirror reminds me otherwise! And the calendar reminds me that 25 was 25 years ago. Ahem.

And sometimes, if the wind is just right and I'm lost in thought, I'm snuggling my babies while watching Little Bill, and get a big whiff of their sweaty little boy heads. It was just this morning, right?

Or a chill of fall comes through the air and I'm sitting in the stands of a Friday night football game paying little attention to the field, instead, I'm watching my girl dance and jump her way through another routine. A tear of pride blurs my vision....

Was it really 6 months ago that I updated you? That I began to share our 20th anniversary trip and then dropped out of sight? Sigh. So much time and so many memories, so many stories to share, yet where to start? What about you? What has been told in your story this year?

Since time marches on, I guess it's time to update the About page. Dust off the keyboard. Share my stories again and ask about yours. I've been craving your words, and my fingers have been aching to tell the tales.

Dazzle me with you. I'll try to do the same. Let me hold your hand, and you can hold mine and we'll get back to where we used to be... Young and in love with life and time.

Being a Kid

We all have memories of being a kid. Some good, some bad, but mostly we just remember 'things'. Amirite? I was lucky enough to have a great childhood; I know some aren't as lucky. I wanted to share some of the random things that I remember from being a child. I suppose some of them will feel quite tame nowadays, but hey! that's what happens when you're getting closer to 50. Ahem. I grew up in Southern California and in the mountains of Colorado, so some things might be specific to those areas but I'll bet there are many that are universal, especially for someone around my age.

Things I remember from my childhood:

• We lived on a cul-de-sac and I remember riding bikes long into the evenings, especially in the summer. The greatest part of this memory, though, is that we would practice 'tricks' on our bikes. Standing on the seat, not holding the handlebars, that kind of thing. And, of course, no helmets.
• Watching the fireworks at Disneyland from the corner next to my house.
• Having a crush on the neighbor boy who was a few years older than me. 
• Playing "Pong" on the tv in the basement and thinking it was the coolest thing in the world that we had a video game in our very own house.
• Not having cable and needing rabbit-ears to get even a passable signal way up in the mountains. We watched scratchy tv for so long that I was even used to the static!
• "Party line" telephone lines. We didn't have one, but many of my friends did. That certainly put a damper on talking on the phone for hours for us as teens. 
• Getting a box of Twinkies (or similar treat,) was a BIG DEAL in our house, and saved for a special occasion. Certainly not an every day thing. 
• I thought that disco was the coolest thing/music EVER, and wished I was (more than) a few years older so I could go to the bars and dance like that. 
• I lived about a 1/2 block from my elementary school and don't remember my mom ever walking us to school. (I'm sure that she did at least a few times when we were in kindergarten, but I have no memory of it.) Granted there were at least a half dozen of us from the same cul-de-sac all walking at the same time, but still. (And that's totally ok!)
• We didn't have a cafeteria or hot lunch program at my elementary school. A few days a year we would have a special lunch day that you could pre-order McDonalds. Later, after moving to Colorado, I loved being able to buy hot lunch. Hmmm. Now that I think about it, maybe that is where my dislike of sandwiches comes from!
• One time, in the winter when the mornings were still dark, I thought someone was following me as I walked to the bus stop. Turns out it was just the paper guy doing his route. 

What random things do you remember from your childhood? Share them in the comments!

The Horror of Halloween-Part 1

Back when I was a child, I loved Halloween. We lived in a safe neighborhood, with sidewalks and cul-de-sacs, there were lots of kids out, and we knew most everyone on the block. My best friend lived next door and we ALWAYS trick-or-treated together. She was one of 5 kids so we had a big group, too. I'm guessing that for our parents it was way more fun to do it together. I don't remember when we were allowed to go alone, maybe around 9?, but I do remember using pillow cases one year because we got to go all the way around the block and into each cul-de-sac. I have still never seen so much candy!

The year that I turned 11 was the year that all of that changed. That year, 1979, we moved from that accessible Southern California neighborhood to the mountains of Colorado. Trick or treating in a spread out mountain community isn't quite the same, not to mention that we were in 6th grade. OF COURSE there were parties, (easier for the parents, and we were WAY TOO MATURE to go begging for candy,) and since I was the new kid I wasn't invited to any of them. Thus started my aversion to Halloween. Totally tied to preteen angst.

I should also add that I am in no way, shape, or form creative, so trying to come up with a costume is an exercise in futility for me. Yes, I've scoured the internet, the catalogs, and the advertisements, but I can never come up with something that seemed to 'work' for me. Naughty Nurse? Uh, no thanks. So dressing up is out. Going to parties is also out since I'd rather stay home and pass out candy to the cute little ones that come by. Plus, going to a costume party just to drink too much and ruin whatever costume I did come up with just seems ridiculous.

Finally, I hate to be scared. So there's that.

So that's the background on the reason that I hate Halloween. Next up is the reason that it was a huge MOMMY FAIL this year. Whatever you're Halloween fail is, it will only pale in comparison to mine. You're welcome.
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Vanilla Wafer Pudding

In honor of my father's birthday today, (Happy Birthday, Daddy!), I'm posting one of his mother's recipes. A few months ago I started craving my grandmother's banana pudding; a long lost memory from my childhood and Sunday dinners on Oliver Street. Thanks to the wonders of Facebook I am no longer craving it. My dad's sister has all of my grandmother's hand-written recipes-what a treasure!

I remembered it as banana pudding, but it is obviously vanilla pudding layered with bananas. Really tasty, just like I remembered it. Enjoy!

Vanilla Wafer Pudding

4 T. flour
1/2 c. sugar
1 t. salt
2 cups milk
2 eggs
1/2 t. vanilla
1 lb. bag vanilla wafers
3 or 4 bananas

Mix flour, sugar, salt and beat in eggs. Pour in milk, cook until it thickens, stirring constantly. Remove from heat and add vanilla

Alternate layers of wafers and bananas in a 9x13 dish. Pour sauce over layers, top with more cookies if you'd like. Chill before serving.

You could probably use a smaller dish (8x8?) and make an extra layer. Yummy either way!
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Chat

Facebook is so interesting. Like weird, interesting. Witness: the following chat from last night. (Slightly edited, of course.) Note: This is someone that I went to school with but don't remember talking to since junior high school. We knew each other but didn't run in the same circles. At all.

Him: are you there?
Me: yes! How's the restaurant?
Him: friggin' busy
Me: that's good!
Him: I have wanted to ask you something
Me: should I be scared?
Him: nah
         do you remember me?
Me: yes
       i remember most everyone we graduated with
       some more than others, of course
Him: did you hit me in jr. high?
Me: hahahahahahahahahahahahaha
       I have no idea. Although i don't remember hitting anyone in junior high
       so i hope it wasn't me!
       (Please understand I'm not laughing at you!)
Him: I think it was {Another girl}
         i said a really racist thing and she slapped me
Me: The first guy (that wasn't my brother) that I remember punching was
        in college and he desperately deserved it
        Ouch.
Him: i deserved it
         {She} was a bitch anyway
Me: Ouch again
Him: just an opinion
         i left [hometown] and never looked back
Me: i wasn't super close with her
       many did. You're not alone in that at all.
       I have mostly wonderful memories from [hometown] and would
       move back in a heartbeat if i could
Him: my dad lost control of his drinking and i tried to kill him at 17.
         slept in my car senior year and still tried to act like everything was normal
Me: Oh my goodness. I'm sorry you had to go through something so horrible
        as a kid. sounds like you've done well for yourself
Him: but still, [hometown] is who i am
Me: it's who we all are
Him: yeah, it's deep in me. i watch your posts and am glad you are happy

Me: thanks sounds like you are too
Him: took a long time. stabbed 3 times (twice in europe) and eight
         broken noses but i'm good
Me: Yikes! you've got some stories, don't you?
(tangent, not relevant)
Him: ran into [guy1] and [guy2] in hawaii in 91
Me: really? why would you remember that?
Him: because [guy1] was rich and privileged and [guy2] was a douchebag
         and you were in a class with me and i always had a crush on you
(Huh? Is this where this is going???)
Me: Actually I don't think [guy1] was rich, I just think he had the luck of good genes
       they're both douchebags
Him: just sort of remembering stuff
Me: Thank you. I hope that means I was at least nice
Him: as far as i remember just pretty
Me: *blushing* thank you
Him: [guy1] was a [jerk] in hawaii
Me: he was a [jerk] at the reunions too
Him: don't blush you were pretty to me
Me: yeah none of those guys changed
Him: that is why i didn't go to the reunion
Me: it's not so bad really. [guy1] didn't come this year
(other unrelated)
Me: the 20 was really fun. i'd love if you'd consider coming sometime
Him: sad because i was there from 4th grade
Me: we'll do it again for our 30
        think about it?
Him: maybe. glad i reached out
Me: me too. i wish you luck and happiness. i hope you're happy now!
Him: i am. in the end God took care of me
         and i have some really cool scars
Me: He's the best papa of all.
       lol!
Him: goodnight
Me: goodnight.


Does this seem strange to you? Does it seem like he was trying to go somewhere more weird? I was trying to keep it light and chatty, nice but not too familiar. Did I succeed?


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Notes from the Past

Recently I was cleaning off my desk and found this:

Cute, right? The best part is the other side, though.

You might be able to read it if you click and enlarge but let me help you! (I copied the note exactly as it was written, circa 1982.)

Kendra, I am writing this card at 11:03 at night, so if it gets sloppy, please forgive me. I think its really stupid how this whole thing turned out and since we're both too stubbern (sp) to give in, I thought I would try this. For a while it seemed (to me anyway) that we were getting to be really close, so I can't see us throing (sp) that friendship out. This might be sounding real [stupid], but I can't think of good words at 11:11 at night. I hope with this card I have broken the ice and now maybe we can talk about it soom. Well I'm running out of room, so I'd better go. Love always, Kelly W/B please!

I wish I knew what we were fighting about that week. Some MAJOR Jr. High drama, obviously. I love it though, because here I am, about 30 years later, smiling.  Smiling because whatever it was, wasn't strong enough to break up our friendship in the long term. This is the girl that I spent every Saturday of Jr. High with on the slopes of Winter Park, countless hours listening to the Go Go's and the Waitresses, practicing cheer routines, and dissecting our latest crush. Oh my, you should see the notes about the boys! (Which, I actually have a few of, stashed away. Maybe someday I'll post them here...)

Kelly, Kelly, Kelly. What can I say. I'm so glad to be able to call you Friend! I'm also noticing that you need a label all your own here: I've written about you that much! (Like here)

Something else that you may not know about Kelly is that she is a direct marketing guru, with a special love for online marketing with social media expertise. Please go visit her blog, Directly Successful, or like on Facebook for great tips about using tools like Facebook to expand your business, or hire her to help your business explode!

(Kelly did not ask me to write this post. She's my friend, she's good at what she does, and Oh My Goodness that letter is funny!)

High School Reunion

Originally published on Inland Empire Family, April 4, 2011.

Springtime always takes me back to my senior year in high school. My whole life ahead of me, I was going to go far away to college and reinvent myself.


Reinvention is hard work and, like most college students, I didn’t really have it in me. I did enough to get by. I graduated with a decent GPA. I got a job; I moved across the country. Then it was time for my 10 year high school reunion and my ‘big reveal.’I guess the joke was on me. My name tag kept falling off and I was worried about it until someone that I hardly knew in school told me “Oh just throw it away. Everyone knows who you are anyway.”

All these years later I’m not so sure that I’ve changed that much, either. Yes, I’m married now, have children, a mortgage, drive a mini-van and have a 3-car garage, but inside and out I’m amazed at how much I haven’t changed.



And while I’m no longer an insecure 17 year old that wants to radically change who she is, I’ve grown to (mostly) love who I am. I still love jamming out to cheesy ’80′s techno dance music, drinking margaritas (where I lived, the drinking age was lower then!), going to parties with my friends, and taking a day off to get lost in a great book.

This summer I will plan and attend my 25th class reunion. I will stress out over the perfect outfit and that I haven’t lost these pesky 10 pounds that I found this winter. I will smile and laugh and hug all of the people that I haven’t seen in 25 years, some who will be attending our reunion for the first time. I’ll squeal over the ones that we aren’t expecting and shed a tear over the ones that won’t ever be able to join us again.

What I won’t do is try to reinvent myself this time. I like me just the way I am and always have been.

2010

I'm sitting here on New Year's Eve watching the Gamecocks vs. Seminoles in the Chik-fil-A Bowl, (I love it when I can yell GO COCKS and no one gets offended. Heh.), listening to my 9 year old snore on the couch next to me. I'm reading many of your 2010 recaps and Facebook statuses and thinking back on my own year that was and thinking ahead to the year that will be.

2010 was by all accounts a pretty damn good year. I may complain a lot (do I?,)(Isn't that what a blog is for?) but I think that 2010 was the year that I came into my own as a mother. This is the year that I have noticeably NOT yelled as much, and it shows in the peace around my house. We have created some pretty awesome human beings and I really started to enjoy them a lot more this year. Let's not get too carried away...yes, we had our share of bad moments, but I think that I was a better mom this year. And that is a very good thing.

My marriage is arguably the best one that I know of, and that is pretty damn cool. Headless Dad and I have had a year of excellent communication and that makes all the difference. We've made time for each other and it shows. We're best friends. We make a great team. Like when we had the flood in November? We did a great job of tag-teaming to keep our cool and take care of business. It's nice to know that I have a partner that can take over when I'm getting overwhelmed, and that I can overcome my fears to be the partner that he needs me to be. That's not to say that we're perfect. We're not. (Paper towel bombs, anyone?) I'm certainly not, (Dust? Huh? Sshhh!), but an all together pretty perfect pair, if I do say so myself.

In 2010 I have found my blogging tribe, (you know who you all are-Muah!,) if not necessarily the voice that I've so desperately wanted. I know who my friends are and that is comforting. If anything, 2010 has helped me to see a little more clearly where I want to go in the future. I guess we'll see where it takes me!

As usual, I've been blessed with a great family. The ones in Colorado, the ones in the south, and the ones here are all top notch, and I really hope to spend more time with all of them in the coming year. Having a supportive family is so important and I can't thank them enough for being here for me when I've needed them and laughing with me when we needed that, too!

This year has also been a good year for my friendships locally. We stumbled upon a group of families a few years ago and this year has showed me that they really are my friends. In 2011 I hope to be the one hosting a little more often, as we seem to get together a lot and I need to do more of my share!

Speaking of those friends? One of the families called yesterday and is hosting a (second annual!) New Year's Eve party for all of us-kids included. We're expected in an hour so I'd better boogie. A huge thank you to all of you for coming over and reading my words, here and elsewhere. It means so much to me that you're here, week in and week out. I don't really think I can say how much it means to me, so I'll just say Thanks a million!

I wish you all the best in 2011; the kind of year that I've had this year, minus the flood!

Dreams

Back on Day 1 of NaBloPoMo I asked for questions. Today is the last day that I have to answer Just Margaret's question.

Hmmm...a question? Tell us about what you thought your life would hold for you back in the day when you were 17. Dreams, aspirations, frustrations...

When I was 17 I really had few dreams. I was a cheerleader and highly social in high school, so even my plans for after graduation were nebulous at best.

I started my senior year planning on attending the University of New Mexico and getting a Deaf Education degree and teaching in an elementary school. Part of that dream was dropped when I visited the university later that year...I was used to college campuses looking like the University of Colorado: old brick buildings and big trees. UNM is NOT like that at all. Try 7 story industrial adobe for the library. It just didn't feel right.

I did know that I would go to college, though. Growing up it wasn't a question of if, it was where. That spring my mom visited friends in Knoxville and she came home raving about how beautiful it was, and that was that. I applied, got accepted, and committed to UT sight unseen. (Although I didn't stay there for even all of my freshman year, I don't regret the experience at all. Another post, another day.)

The biggest thing that I remember from that year is knowing how my love life would turn out. My parents had dated all through high school and I was convinced that the boy that I had loved (yet not actually dated,) all through school would magically fall in love with me and we would get married, move back to our hometown, and live happily ever after. Cute how innocent I was, eh?

That dream was shattered a couple of years later during my annual Christmas party. He was there on break from his big military academy. {Swoon!} We were able to catch up, which, of course, made my hopes soar. Also in attendance was a girl that I had been close friends with in junior high, who had gone to a private school for high school. My dreams were dashed when he asked me for her number, and if I thought that she would go out with him. Her? Really? (She was beautiful, by the way. Dammit.) He actually ended up marrying her a few years later. (And then getting divorced, which made me sad for them. I guess I had grown up by then.)

What I did know at 17 (or at least hope,) was that I wanted to be married to a fabulous man, (CHECK) and be able to be a stay-at-home mom, (CHECK).

So I guess my dreams weren't that far off after all.

Sweet Tea

Back in my 20's, single and having the time of my life, I lived in South Carolina. My group of friends traveled from city to city on the weekends, partying at the best bars, seeing live bands, eating breakfast at 2am, and passing out on couches and chairs.

One of my favorite spots was the Windjammer on Isle of Palms. This is where I first saw the band Cravin' Melon perform. Come to think of it, I think that is also where I saw Hootie and the Blowfish for the first time, but that, my dears, is a love story for another day. I saw this band countless times, and each performance was better than the last. I suppose I was a groupie of sorts.

If you're not familiar with the sweet tea from the south, then you may not 'get' this, but every time I hear this song and this album I'm transported to a time where my biggest cares were making it to work before 9 am, which bar I was going to watch Monday Night Football in, and making sure I had enough cab money in my pocket.

"Don't tempt me,
I'm where I wanna be,
Cuz on the 8th day,
God made sweet tea."

Sweet Blossom


(Forgive the quality of video and sound on these clips...they were recorded live from the audience. Just close your eyes and imagine holding a lighter in one hand and your beer in the other and you'll get the feel of a Cravin' Melon live show. Thanks to eddielaurie for my trip back in time!)

Only You

I believe it was the year that I was 16.... We often went to a teen night club in southwest Denver called After the Fox. Did you go there too?

Somehow I was never carded and we would stop on our way down to buy a 6 pack of White Mountain Coolers. A small buzz to begin the evening? A buzz that would be worked off half way through the night.

The agenda began and ended with dancing. The year was 1984, the music was electronic, and the dancing was all about showing off while looking bored. We hardly stopped; we just kept moving.

One night when they 'slowed it down' they played this song by Yaz. One of my favorites already, after this night it would become one of my favorite memories, too. His name was Kevin and I had been eyeing him for weeks, I think. Tall, lanky, he actually was a great dancer, and he asked me to dance.

How did you dance with a boy (or girl)? Most of us would say: girl's arms around his shoulders/neck, his arms around your waist, sway back and forth. Right? This guy really knew how to dance. He 'led', like in a 'real' slow dance.

And I was hooked.

I think we must have met there at least a half dozen times over the summer. He lived in the north east part of the city. I was in the mountains. In those days we were 'geographically undesirable' to one another. That was quite the drive. But we could meet at the club, and we did.

And we danced.

I think of Kevin every time I hear that song and wonder if he ever thinks of me when he hears it? I know that my memories are probably a lot stronger and more romantically inclined, but I still wonder. Most guys probably wouldn't have remembered that by the next summer, much less that one song, and he would probably be shocked at the impact that it still has on me after all of these years. I still wonder what ever happened to him.

Rock Out

Over a month ago Joset did this on her blog and I marked it because I wanted to do it.

Concerts I've attended: (in no particular order, except maybe the first few...)

Jackson 5
Bay City Rollers
Jimmy Buffet (I think I've seen him about 8 times. Maybe more.)
Air Supply
Huey Lewis and the News
The Thompson Twins
The Go-Go's (Seen twice.)
The Violent Femmes
Hootie and the Blowfish (Seen 3 times.)
Tim McGraw
The Smiths
The B52's
Vince Gill
Elvis Costello
Til Tuesday
Depeche Mode
Billy Idol
Michael Jackson (In his mid-80's arena concerts. I made the cover of the Denver Post at that one.)
New Order
The Cure
OMD
Reba McEntyre
Joan Jett and the Blackhearts
REO Speedwagon
Berlin
Howard Jones
Cravin' Melon
Elton John
Billy Joel
Dixie Chicks
The Osmands
Amnesty International with U2

I know that there are more. Can you help jog my memory in the comments? Also, tag yourself if you want. I'd love to see your live music life!

Doin' The Ipod Shuffle

Although I've had an ipod for over a year, I just recently loaded it up with all of my favorite songs from my old cd collection. I pulled them all out, loaded them into my computer and Voila! all of my old favorite music is at my finger tips. You know, without having to listen to only one at a time and change the disc when it's over? Yeah, I know. Welcome to the 20th century, Headless. I'm really having fun revisiting all of my 80's and 90's music, mostly on my morning walks. There is some cool (to me) stuff in there!

Well, I'm starting a meme of sorts. No tags, just do it if you want and let me know so I can come check out all of your music, and find out what I'm missing.

Put your ipod on shuffle, and list the first 10 songs that come up, but don't repeat an artist. Easy, right? OK, here's mine:

• The Wind Knows My Name by Fairground Attraction
• Too Busy Being In Love by Doug Stone (This is a great song, especially for us 'writers'.)
• Time by Hootie and the Blowfish (I heart me some Darius Rucker!)
  
• Let Me Love You by Third Day (Auds, you should go listen to this song. I think you'll like it.)
• Mr. Brownstone by Guns and Roses
• Miss You in a Heartbeat by Def Leppard (Yes, I love some big hair, big rock in my collection.)
  
• The Main Thing by Roxy Music (Avalon is the sexiest album of all.time., in my opinion.)
• She's In Love With The Boy by Trisha Yearwood (I love to belt her songs out!)
• Don't Go by Yaz (Nothing says 80's to me like Yaz.)
• Woman Behind The Man by Toby Keith. (Swoon.)

Teen Movie Perfection

Sam The Butcher sent me this article over the weekend and I absolutely loved it. It is an interview with John Hughes, by Roger Ebert, back in 1984. The true heyday of the teen movie. Many of you are around my age and have huge memories of John Hughes films. Who among us can't recite every word of at least 2 of his films? OK, 3. Or more.

I think that this quote from the article is great:

"Look at what this movie doesn’t have," said Ally Sheedy. "No high school dance. No chase scene. No naked shower scene. No beer blast. No rumble. It’s about kids who are learning about themselves. It’s like doing a play. It’s an actor’s dream. And it’s an ambitious picture. With a lot of teenage movies, you get the feeling the filmmakers are remembering their own youth. This movie is about right now."

And you know what? It still resonates. The Breakfast Club is still one of my all-time favorite movies. I could watch it over and over, (and have. Ahem.)

So, tell me. What is your favorite quote from a John Hughes film? Or, if you can't narrow it down to just one, how about your top 3?

And, goodnight, Mr. Hughes. Your films will live on in us, a generation that came of age alongside your characters and found out that we all have flaws and insecurities, and can be understood anyway.

Fro' Me To You

Why's everybody always pickin' on me?

Yep, that's me on the left. Apparently my mother thought I should be headless, even at a young age. These are my 2 best friends from Taft Elementary School, and I think we were in fourth grade when this was taken. We were in the talent show and did a dance to 'Charlie Brown', (click the link to listen!)

OK, Marcy, finding Headless shots in the old albums is really difficult! Head on over to The Glamorous Life to see more Fro' Me To You shots. Maybe some of them will have heads to go with them!

Today is the last day to enter the giveaway-so far, odds are really good! Come on over!

Jeans (Alternate title: Why Vanity Sizing Can Kiss My Booty)

A few weeks ago I went into the Gap Outlet with a gift card in hand that I had received some time back. With the economy the way that it is, and stores folding like a Hallmark card, I've decided to spend the cards that I have so I don't lose the money. I have not had much luck at any Gap store lately so I was prepared to get a top and call it a day.

I used to love the Gap. You know, the days in the late '80's and early '90's when you could buy one of everything, and it would go with most of what you already had in your closet? I had multiple pairs of Gap jeans, skirts, the works. And don't get me started on the Gap t-shirt. Most every color, my friends. And don't tell me you didn't, too. I just won't believe it because we all had them.

Since I don't get to shop often I just grabbed things that I thought were cute, piled my arms full, and headed to the dressing room hoping that I had the right sizes. I tried on short sleeve tops and long sleeve tops, sweaters, sweats, and OH MY GOODNESS who failed to fill me in on the amazingness that is the yoga pant? 20 lashes for you (with a wet noodle, of course,) because how I have lived without them is beyond me.

(Here is where you are probably going, "Hey Headless! Your title is 'jeans' and you're talking about yoga pants? What's up?" It's all in the build up. Follow, please.)

My favorite pair of jeans were black and went everywhere with me. Circa 1995, they were the old school high-waisted jeans (don't laugh, you wore them too!), and were the jeans that I wore on my first date with Headless Dad. For this reason, they still hang in my closet. They are a size 10.

In my trying on session at the outlet I grabbed a pair of jeans that looked cute. I did not have much faith in the Gap jean, as for the last 8-10 years I have not found one pair of pants or jeans there that fit me anywhere-waist, butt, length, nothing. But hey, I was there, and I might as well try, right?

You could have knocked me over with a feather when I tried on these jeans. They fit p.e.r.f.e.c.t. Not too high or low in the waist, long enough, dark wash, cute pockets that don't make my butt look, well, saggy or otherwise weird.

They are a size 8.

Which brings me back to my title.

I weigh, at minimum, 15 pounds heavier than when I met HD. I had not yet had children, which caused my hips to permanently widen. I know that these jeans are cut differently, but are you serious? I love being in a size 8, but looking at these 2 pairs of jeans, side by side? I am not stupid. I am not brainwashed to think "Ooh! I'm smaller than I was 14 years ago!"

Really, look at this:
(Please ignore the dust lines on the black ones. I said they hang in my closet; I did not say that I wear them. Mostly because I can't. And they are hopelessly out of style. And too short.)

Am I wrong? How about a closer look:
Yes, photographic evidence that my new size 8s are a full inch wider than my old size 10s. Need more evidence? I think not.

Soundtrack

I guess I could have been more specific. Natalie pointed out that I said that the video was significant. Actually it is the whole album that is significant. Let's go back, shall we? '89 hadn't been the greatest of years-well, at least as far as my love life was concerned.

I know there's pain.
Why do you lock yourself up in these chains?
No one can change your life except for you,
Don't ever let anyone step all over you.
Just open your heart and your mind
Is it really fair to feel this way inside?

In 1990 I was moving into my very first apartment with a friend, going to summer school, finishing college. Summer school was fun-although I'm sure it wasn't meant to be. I only had one class, Grammar, so how hard could it be, really? (Especially when I was the teacher's favorite. But that is a tale for another day...) I was also Panhellenic Rush Chairman, so in the Greek office every day working on some project or another. Amy reminded me that that is the year that she left our college, so of course she wouldn't have known. But I'm sure she'll remember some of the story. Wilson Phillips was released that spring and became the soundtrack of my life for the next year or so.

Someday somebondy's gonna make you turn around and say goodbye
Until then, baby, are you going to let them
Hold you down and make you cry? Don't you know,
Don't you know, things can change?
Things'll go your way,
If you hold on for one more day.

My best friend was Susan-also my roommate in the apartment, on Panhellenic with me, and my cohort in crime. We studied hard (thanks to Susan I graduated with a decent GPA,) and played equally as hard. Those of us that stayed for the summer had a unique bond-we had class every day, and would go out every night. Ah, the days of dollar pitchers on a rotating basis around a college town. Wilson Phillips was our go-to music for riding around in her Pontiac GTO convertible.

You could sustain. Or are you comfortable with the pain?
You've got no one to blame for your unhappiness
You got yourself in your own mess
Lettin' your worries pass you by
Don't you think it's worth your time
To change your mind?

One night Susan and I ran into a bunch of Sigma Chi's that we knew at the bar, The Gambler. (It was known in those days for cheap beer, gaming tables in the back, a killer dj, and the hangout for the Denver Broncos that were in town for training camp.) We drank and danced the night away, and before I knew it I was dancing with one guy. JP. We danced for a very long time-about 2 years, and then some, on and off.

Some day somebody's gonna make you turn around and say goodbye
Until then, baby, are you going to let them
Hold you down and make you cry? Don't you know,
Dont you know, things can change?
Things'll go your way,
If you hold on for one more day.

There were other songs of the summer that year: Madonna's Vogue, The B52's Love Shack, but none compared to the Wilson Phillips self-titled cd. It played in our cars, during study time, during our pre- and post-parties. Susan, JP, and I have all had to replace our copies over the years.It's hard to point to one specific memory for this soundtrack, like a scene in a movie. It was more of a sweeping score for an epic film, of being young and independent, falling in love, forging life-long friendships, and looking toward an unknown future.

Can't you change it this time?
Make up your mind. Hold on, Hold on.
Baby, Hold on.

Lyrics verification courtesy of Yahoo music.

Christmas Music?

I'm decorating to this today. Not EXACTLY Christmas music, but the cd player is jammed and this is what is in it.

Can anyone tell me why this video is significant to me? I'm not sure that anyone that reads here knows...

Back later with the story. What do you remember when you see/hear this song?