Saturday, March 21, 2009

The Strange Tale of GA

I had a friend in college, let's call her GA, that I was really close to once upon a time.

We lived in the same dorm, went to the same dining hall, joined the same sorority. After we both left that university we kept in touch, writing long angst filled letters while we were trying to find ourselves. We would vacation at each others' homes on breaks from the new schools that we went to.

I don't really know what it was that changed us, or what tore our friendship apart.

You know that saying that some friends are for life, some are for a season, some are for a reason, yada yada? This is one friendship that truly baffles me-not because we were friends but because it ended so abruptly, and without provocation or explanation.

One of the last things that I remember doing with GA was a trip to Puerto Vallarta. We were both working and had decided that we deserved a vacation. We made our plane reservations, I secured a hotel, and we were off for a 4 day weekend. Two single American girls in beautiful, sexy Puerto Vallarta.

We swam in the pool, drank margaritas at the swim up bar, she went parasailing. We ate chips and salsa until we couldn't eat anymore. We discovered a delightful Italian restaurant overlooking the bay dining at sunset. We danced at the local bar-on the floor, on the tables, on the chairs, on the bar. I'll never hear the Macarena without thinking of Puerto Vallarta and GA.

We even kissed the hottest boys in the bar. Oh, that Mexican cutie knew how to sweet talk an American girl!

It was all in all a pretty innocent trip. We ate, we shopped, we sunbathed, we drank, we came home.

And something had changed.

I really don't know what it was, unless my dancing on bars and kissing Mexican boys scared her away.

I never saw her portion of the payment for the hotel. A few months later I met my husband-to-be and certainly wrote her volumes about him and eventually, our upcomming wedding. Our phone calls began to be few and far between.

The last time I saw her was about a month before our wedding and she had a business trip to Denver. We met for lunch (or was it dinner?). She told me that she didn't have the money to come to my wedding and was sorry. (Although, now that I'm thinking about it again, she was an only child and her parents totally would have paid for the trip. I was close with them as well. Hmmm.) I thought all was ok, and I suppose it was at the time. But it hasn't been since.

Over the years I have reached out to her. Searched for her on the internet. Sent emails that have been chatty, informative, questioning what she's been up to. Her responses have left much to be desired, if not downright cold. She has never really responded to my efforts to rekindle our friendship or keep in touch. I'm really confused, and quite frankly, hurt. GA was a huge part of my college life, and what I thought would be my whole life. What, being sorority sisters, and all, I thought that it was a possibility, at least. Or another one for the Christmas Card list, once a year sharing tales of what we've been up to? Nah. None of that.

Recently, she showed up on Facebook. I had searched for her before and she hadn't been on, but now she was friending me. Hmmm, I thought. Maybe this time? I took the cool approach:

Me-It's about time you showed up here!
Her-I know. I was slow to join! Good to hear from you though. :)
Me-What are you up to these days?

Then nothing. Seriously. She didn't respond.

Headless Mom


amy turn sharp of doobleh-vay said...

sorry love. It sucks when out past comes back to let us down again. Hugs.

K said...

How about the direct and to the point approach and then forget it.

"I am wondering why you friended me on FB only to not respond to me? I don't know what happened between us, but clearly something has left you ice cold. I'm confused."

Then, let it go. I know it is killing you not to have the closure and the resolution, but really is she just back to torment?

was it to get into your FB friends and see if you have any she might want to reconnect with?

Beachy Mimi said...

I have had a similar situation regarding a friend from the past.
"Poof" she disappeared. I never could find out why so I just had to let it go. So sorry.

Sam said...

I agree with K, except for the "clearly" part, but I agree, address her lack of contact. She reached out to you, she must have something to say.

Amazing Greis said...

This post is totally about me! I have 2 friends that the same type of thing happened. I still don't speak to them often. When I try to reach out I don't hear back. It's pretty annoying, because I truly miss the friendship!

kyooty said...

I don't know. I seriously don't know. Maybe just ask her straight out for hte truth, honestly you deserve the truth

Anonymous said...

Oohhh that's a bummer. Maybe she feels guilty about never paying you for PV. Sometimes we just have to let it go and realize that you have tons of people that think you're great!

The Andrus' said...

I just want to crawl through the computer and give you a HUGE hug!

Stay positive, and never give up. If you give up... you'll end up regretting it in the long run. You never know.. there might be a change one of these days.

Love Ya! A

Steph said...

I'm so afraid of conflict...any kind. even on FB. I'm so sorry you are still feeling the hurt from so long ago. I still feel some hurt from my past as well.

Hard to really get past though.

If you can ask her like "K" said, I say go for it, as long as what you say to her, doesn't make you feel worse. But better.