Tuesday, January 19, 2010

The Facebook Problem

I'm sure many of you have had this problem. I'm certainly not the first to have this issue, and I'm sure I won't be the last.

Last year I joined Facebook and had fun reconnecting with many old pals from high school, cousins and other relatives that I haven't connected with in years, and even some friends from elementary school. What a trip! I'll admit that there are parts of Facebook that grate on the nerves.... Farmville anyone? (Don't worry, I blocked it so I don't see every chicken that gets out of your coop.) I link some of my writing there. I like that the blogging friends that I'm friends with there give more details about their family, (me too,); it feels like I'm in on some big secret.

One of my friends from school (Hi Kelly!) and I started doing our reunions. The 20th was a pretty big success, if I do say so myself. So with the popularity of Facebook it's looking like the 25th should be pretty easy to find a bunch of people and get the word out to all different 'groups'.

There is now one girl, let's call her Jen since there are about 89 million women my age named Jen (and that may or may not be her real name,) who just recently signed up on Facebook. This girl was never my friend in school. In fact, in the cartoon version of my High School I would venture to say that we were arch enemies. (I don't think that I, in fact, had any arch enemies. Just sayin', ya know?) She sent me a friend request and I promptly ignored it.

And then it started. Every stinking day I see that Jen is now friends with 5 more, 7 more, 8 more! of my friends! Do you want to add Jen as a friend? (Uh, didn't I already tell you that, no, I don't?) And yesterday I got another friend request from her.

It might also be important to add here that there are plenty of her 'real' friends from high school that I'm not friends with on Facebook. I haven't sent the request to them, nor have they sent one to me. I'm friends with only a fraction of the people on Facebook from my class. I am fully aware that over the coming year, starting in about May, that if we are to use Facebook for the coming reunion that we are going to have to send friend requests to all of the people that are in our class. I get that.

But, here, my wise and wonderful blog pals, is the question. Do I accept the request now? Or do I ignore it again until we start work in May for the reunion in the summer of 2011? What would you do?

Headless Mom


mominsanity said...

Yes, this is a problem for me too. I've taken to blocking certain applications and, if I don't recognize the person that is sending a friend request, I send them a message before confirming.

Erica M. said...

Accept it. Same exact thing happened to me, and my former arch enemy and I are better friends than we ever were. People can and do change sometimes.

If it doesn't work out, adjust your settings so you can't see her and she can't see you.

Tracey said...

Accept it now and see what happens and if she's psycho...you can always unfriend later! God luck.

Jess said...

I have the same problem... friends on my friends have friends that I barely talk to and they want to friend me, and I haven't even talked to them in over 2 years. We might have bowled together one summer and had ashort conversation or two. I do not add them, telling them I am trying to keep my friends to a minimum. I also decide it this way, since post a lot there, I do not want to be friends with people I would not mind being at my dinner table every night, since I blog on there, and am totally addicted and I don't want to have to watch what I say in my blog in case someone reads it and gets offended, then I have to deal with that.
No thanks!!!

Mommy, I'm Home said...

I would accept it and then see if she turns out to continue exhibiting the behavior that made her your arch enemy. High school was a long time ago and most people have changed for the better.

Marcy of The Glamorous Life Association said...

I accept and then immediately HIDE them. That way they can see how fabulous my life is even though they tried to make me feel like a fat/ugly/idiot in high school. It is like a passive aggressive REVENGE.

I love it.
Facebook is like heaven for passive aggressive types like me.


Just Breathe said...

That's a hard one. Ignoring the request may be worse then accepting it in the long run. I agree with Mommy, I'm Home. Some people don't even remember those days and just remember how cool you were!

headless girl :] said...

create a separate page for the reunion-add everyone on that, and you and kelly can be administrators. I'll even help you do it :]

kyooty said...

I'm with Girl on this one. form a group/event, they can sign up to that, and see you at the reunion.

Studio 13 by Carrie said...

Wow that headless girl is one smart cookie! We like her!!

Kelly said...

How have we NOT talked about this? I have mixed thoughts. First...we both know that I have slowed down on blogging because of the IRL peeps reading.

Second...there will be a separate page for the reunion so I am not worried about that.

Third...I notice that this person is on a stint of friending EVERYONE, that is fine...it will make it easier for us to gather everyone come reunion time. Just because you are doing the reunion by no means is a reason to have to friend everyone from HS.

Fourth...it may be totally begnign, but unfriending later always causes a sticky situation.

Interesting to say the least, but definitely opens the window to the IRL readers. Wish I had a definitive answer to this one...

becca said...

I always ask myself "Why am I friending this person?" If I can't think of a good reason (I was sad to have lost touch, I am curious what they've been up to, they're a good friend now, etc...) then I don't friend them. And if i ignore a request once, I DON'T change my mind. There's no such thing as peer pressure on line! I'd stick to your initial reaction!

Lovely Little Nest said...

I say, just accept the friend request. It's not like you're agreeing to spend the Holidays with her :p

Also, never unfriend someone. They ALWAYS notice and then it gets reeeeallly awkward!