Thursday, April 22, 2010

A Let-Down Day

Today is shaping up to be one of those days.

We're coming off of 3 weeks of endless hours of pain, coughing, doctors, medicine, moments of exhausted sleep and earlier-than-should-be-legal wake-up calls, testing, cold weather, stuff. You know: LIFE.

And as I sit here staring into the screen of my laptop I feel weepy. Tired. Tired, like I have to go pee but can't peel myself off of the couch to walk the 20 or so steps to get there, tired.

It's cloudy and freezing today, with the occasional sunburst of "Hello! I'm still here!" Sunshine that gives the promise of spring warmth but doesn't actually deliver. The snow creeping down the mountain this morning is proof of that.

I love the rain. I love that it lets us turn the sprinklers off and save a few pennies. I love that it puts the fires at bay for another day. I love watching the water rush down the 'rain chain' near my front porch.

I have so much to say here in this space but the words won't come. Not just yet.

Here's to hoping that they come soon. That they don't dribble out and dry up before the ground is saturated with them. I want the words in puddles to splash in, not like a drought, to ration the drops, to spread them across the web. To fill this space, to grow the weeds of the mind, then able to pluck what is unneeded, toss it aside, and love the flowers that remain.

Headless Mom


Just Breathe said...

It will come, you know that. Here is a ((HUG)) for you :)
I love the rain chain, I've never seen one of those.

Mommy, I'm Home said...

Sorry you're having a tough time. Hope things get better very soon.

Rocks In The Wash said...

Here's to everyone becoming healthy and warm weather in the near future.

I love the sound and smell of rain. It makes me want to go out and jump in the puddle with the boys.


kyooty said...

hugs!!! i'll send you back your heat, it was 14C here today, which is so not like our Aprils. April showers bring May flowers?

Steph said...

i have had several of "those days" lately. I'm glad HD is in the mend tho! I loved visiting with you yesterday (?) I miss you! Much love and tons of prayers!

dusty earth mother said...

oy. this sounds extremely familiar. here's hoping the spring will come soon and warm you to your very bones.