You Knew It Would Happen

OK. I'll admit it. I cried tonight when Headless Girl went back to school. We got to see her for a couple of hours at dinner. I thought that I was going to be the strong one, the one that didn't 'break'.

I really do miss her. "Hey! HG! We miss you around here!!"

(Do you think she heard me?)

I am so proud of her, but she already seems a little different. Maybe it was that she was tired. Maybe it was that she just had more homework to do before she went to bed.

Headless Dad asked if she would ever really need us again. I suppose she will, for the little things, (oh, yeah, and when she wants to throw a shindig of a wedding. NOT HAPPENING SOON, ya hear? ;-) ). But for the most part she won't need us much.

I am looking forward to the long conversations that we will have, maybe over breaks and such, that have a more 'adult' feel to them. She has always been so grown up, so mature. For now she's just answering questions about how it is, what she likes, what she doesn't. I want to know more, but I don't want to push. I'll leave that to her dad.

I know the talks will come. She is comfortable here. I hope she knows she can always come home, forever welcome. Her bed and room is just as she left them. I can't even bring myself to 'tidy up' yet. I suppose she will come in another month or so-certainly she will give us the pleasure of singing 'Happy Birthday' to our little girl that isn't so little anymore. She'll only be 18, you know.

Still so much a little girl, but so much a young woman with the world at her feet.

It is strange in the afternoon. I sit at the kitchen table with her brothers doing homework and still wait for her to get home from school or cheer practice, bubbling with the drama of the day.

It hasn't happened yet, and I'm afraid it won't ever again.

OK. I'll admit it. I'm crying as I write this post. I'm really the one who broke.

I'm so proud of her. Our beautiful Bug. My sweet little Girl, all grown up.