Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Wedding RSVP Etiquette

So many people have let etiquette go. I'm not sure whether it's 'society', or that young people think it's old fashioned and stupid, or parents just aren't teaching it anymore, but etiquette is still important today and 'the rules' should still be followed. Here are a few reminders about RSVPs for brides and guests:

  • Include an RSVP card with your invitation, with a self-addressed, stamped envelope. The inner envelope should include the familiar name of the person(s) included on that invitation, i.e. how the bride or groom addresses that person. For example: Grandma Barb and Grandpa Chuck; Bob and Julie; Adrienne and Guest; Jan and John [and their children] Jake and Hannah; Dr. and Mrs. Smith. The outer envelope should be addressed to the person by their formal name.
  • If the person you invite has children they are only invited if you include their names on the invitation. Conversely, if you have children and their names are not on the envelope, they are not invited. Some weddings are for adults only and there can be many reasons for that whether it be budget, safety at the ceremony or reception site, etc. Please respect the bride, the groom and their families by respecting their decision of whether to invite your children or not. PS- Don't take it personal!   
  • RSVP by the requested date. Many brides have given themselves a cushion, but not always. MAIL THE CARD. In this day and age of electronic everything you might be tempted to just send a text or Facebook message. Don't. There is so much to do in the last weeks before a wedding that a text may not be seen (or if seen, forgotten,) whereas an actual card is handled and your response is recorded properly.
  • If there was "Guest" included on your inner envelope you should indicate if you are bringing someone or not. And if you are, then only one guest. (Unless it says 'Guests', then by all means bring however many you need/want to.)(That was a joke. I don't think I've ever seen 'Guests' on an invitation.)
  • If you say that you'll go, then go.
  • If something drastic happens then find a way to let the bride, groom, or their parents know that you can't make it. They invited you to share their day and will be disappointed if you don't show and they don't know why.
  • Please RSVP to each individual invitation that you receive, including, but not limited to: the shower, the bachelor/bachelorette party, the rehearsal dinner, etc. Just because you are in the wedding party, or are family does NOT mean that you can go to every event. Also, remember, different people typically plan/execute these extra events and they don't always know who is who on an invitation list from the bride.
This list certainly isn't exhaustive but it's a good start. "The rules" are a great way of having reasonable expectations and expected responses so no feelings are hurt and a bride, groom, and their families can plan and execute a wedding efficiently.


Liz@thisfullhouse said...

Bookmarking for future reference, THANKS!!!

Ann Woodruff said...

Excellent list of rules! I'm tucking this away for potential use, and I'm reminded of how important it is to RSVP in a timely way. Thank you!

kyooty said...

The Children thing drives me batty for so many reasons.

Stimey said...

I get so mad when people don't RSVP. I don't understand why people don't respond when you invite them to something. This is a great list!