30th and Cyber Monday

It seems weird that it's the last day of the month. I feel like I was just hitting my stride.... finally. The first half of the month was pretty difficult and I know that some of my posts sucked. I did, however prove to myself that I can still do this. I was starting to worry.

Ha! Me not have anything to say? Pfft.

*****

OK, once again I need some input. I'll be doing most of my Christmas shopping online again this year. What are your favorite websites to shop on? Do you have a quirky, off-the-beaten-path site that you think I might like? What about ETSY shops? Gifts for husbands? Hit me! Cyber Monday is coming and I want to be ready!!!

Black friday Done Right

My friend Carmen asked this question this morning on Facebook:

[A friend] got me to thinking - if you were to list one thing that makes your Black Friday perfect, what would it be? For me, it's actually two things - pumpkin pie for breakfast, and a turkey/stuffing/mashed potatoes/gravy/cranberry bowl of awesomeness for lunch. What about you? What makes your #blackfridaydoneright? It doesn't have to be food (shhh, you heathen) - it might be shopping or decorating or whatever.

Her thinking got me thinking. (That's dangerous, I know.) Our favorite way to spend the day after Thankgiving when I was a teen and in college was going to a movie, maybe out to dinner, maybe walking the mall a little. It was less about shopping, more about the movie and spending time together.

I'm not so much a Black Friday shopper. The deals sound great but I pretty much hate people and big crowds. So I don't do it.

I realized this morning that I have kind of dreaded the day after Thanksgiving for the last 16 years. Some years we have family in town and I feel it a little less but it's still there. For the first 5 years of our marriage HD would play golf early on the day after Thanksgiving. Now, the company that HD has worked for for the last 11 years isn't closed on the day after Thanksgiving so he always works. I understand why-he usually has big projects going on, it's a great, quiet day to get paperwork done, we're usually saving vacation days for Christmas time.

My ideal #blackfridaydoneright would be sleeping in, waking up in the arms of my sweetie, and spending the day together finishing the clean up, watching a little college football, listening to Christmas music, starting to get Christmas decorations out, and all hanging out together.

A girl can dream can't she?

Thankful and Blessed

On Monday as I was racing around the grocery store I got a text message. I was half tempted not to  read it since it seemed that I had hit the store at just the right moment when it wasn't a madhouse. I glanced down and saw that it was from my mother, so I slid the message open.

Hey, good news! No sign of cancer. Bad news, gallstones. Oh well. Nothing to do about that til there's a problem.

I dropped my phone and sobbed into my hands. No sign of cancer. Months of prayer, months of worry. No sign of cancer.

*****

I am so thankful for my dad beating this. For him staying strong and not giving up.
I am thankful for my mother, who is way more badass than she gives herself credit for. She has gotten through these last 11 months, rarely asking for help, and supporting my dad all the way. And with a grace that I'm not sure that she thinks she had.
I am thankful for my aunt, who in moving to Colorado, has brought new life into the home that they all share. Some of that life is four-foooted and furry, and it is good.
I am thankful for my daughter and her new husband being there and the new relationships that are forming, away from the relationships in the shadow of us, the parents. I am thankful for their faithfulness to God and how he is blessing them, abundantly, as they start their new life together.
I am thankful for my brother and his family who have been so supportive of our parents. And my nieces that bring  smiles to faces when they enter a room.

*****

I am thankful for my amazing husband. He works so hard for us and is so generous. I'm thankful that he loves me beyond measure, faults and all.
I am thankful for my #1 son. He is 14 today. He challenges me every day and I am a better human for those trials. He is musical and artistic and gentle and kind.
I am thankful for my #2 son. He makes me laugh and despite his stature is also gentle and kind.

*****

I am thankful for my husband's family. They have given me so much and stretched me to grow in places that I didn't know I needed growth. I'm thankful for the babies that we get to smooch on when we're together. Thankful for being able to guide nieces in some small way, sister-in-laws that welcome me in, and a brother-in-law that can be counted on.

*****

I am thankful for friends. Friends who, despite our busy schedules, can pick up right where we left off. Friends that open their homes to us. Friends that let me vent, knowing that I'm being irrational, and let me get it out anyway. Friends who I can let my guard down with. Friends who don't judge me for my foul mouth. Friends that know when a glass of wine isn't just a nice way to end the day, it's a necessity. Friends who trust me with the hard stuff. Friends who, despite the miles between us, answer text messages and will spill it to me by text so we remain relevant to each other. Friends who make coffee dates a priority, weekly. Friends that live in my computer yet still support me and my family every day.

And for you. You, the friends that come here, to read about my crazy yet average life. I am thankful for you too. Even the ones that don't often comment. Thank you for letting me tell my story to you.

*****

And last, but certainly not least, I am thankful for a God that sent his Son that we might have abundant life, beyond measure. Because without Jesus, none of this would be possible.

I wish for all of you to have such a full and happy and rich life. xoxo

Oh Yes, I'm an Aging Child of the 80's

Have you seen this post on djrioblog? It's pictures of 80's music icons and what they look like today. We're a pretty good looking generation, I'd say.

Thoughts on select artists:

The Cult:Yep. They look the same, pretty much. When is the new album coming out? Because they look posed for cover art. {Edited to add: OMG they are touring the US! My damn luck, they will be just a few miles from me while I'm out of town. GAH!}

The Human League: Beautiful. The most beautiful of the bunch, perhaps.

Culture Club: They now look like guys that would sit around our table on a Friday night drinking beer.

Squeeze: They still look as fun as their music sounds.

Bryan Ferry:

Oh.MyWord. OK. The guy has aged nicely. But does it really matter? All he needs to do is sing, preferably any song from the album Avalon, and BOOM! I'm melted butter.

Anabella Lwin of BowWowWow: She is beautiful, but still needs a few makeup pointers. ;-)

Toni Basil: A little too much knife, no? But still cute as a button.

Alphaville: Their song "Forever Young" was a memory maker for me. (Wasn't it for every teen in the 80's?) I can't look at this picture because it will remind me that I'm no longer Forever Young. Ahem.

Tears for Fears: These guys look great. My son takes piano from a woman that also teaches (used to teach?) one of these guy's daughters. I know because the daughter had chosen one of their songs to learn for a performance and the teacher showed me the video the very first time I met her. Street cred. Piano teacher hired.

The B-52's: Look better than they ever did.

Alison Moyet: Still gorgeous.

Simple Minds: Mentioned only because their album "Once Upon a Time" is perhaps my favorite album of all time. Looks like they're still touring in the UK, Ireland and Europe. Hmm...

New Order: Aren't they touring? I'd go see them, for sure.

The Go Go's:  This was my favorite band in the 80's. I think I loved them so much because they felt like a connection to my California birthplace. Also, they were girls who kicked ass. No one in my hometown was listening to them when Beauty and the Beat came out so I felt like I was 'cutting edge." One of my biggest bummer moments from that decade? Not ever seeing them in concert. I think they came to Red Rocks 3 or 4 times and each time we had a vacation scheduled and I couldn't go. I've since gotten to see them a couple of times since we've been married but I'm not sure it's quite the same. I do dig Jane's green hair, though.

Annie Lennox: She has always been stunning. Her's is the hair that I'd like to be able to pull off. What do you think?

Depeche Mode: Yep. They are on the soundtrack of my youth, in abundance. Still look pretty good, too, and I know that they are still cranking out music and touring.

However, I have to mention Robert Smith of The Cure. Dude. That look was great in the 1980's. Now? It just makes you look stupid. Ditch the eyeliner, man, you're 54 years old. And while you're at it? Brush your hair. Crazy frizzy hair at 25= fashion statement. Same hair at 54=homeless guy from under the bridge.

Who did you love seeing on the list? Who were you surprised at? Was your fave pictured?

Wedding RSVP Etiquette

So many people have let etiquette go. I'm not sure whether it's 'society', or that young people think it's old fashioned and stupid, or parents just aren't teaching it anymore, but etiquette is still important today and 'the rules' should still be followed. Here are a few reminders about RSVPs for brides and guests:

• Include an RSVP card with your invitation, with a self-addressed, stamped envelope. The inner envelope should include the familiar name of the person(s) included on that invitation, i.e. how the bride or groom addresses that person. For example: Grandma Barb and Grandpa Chuck; Bob and Julie; Adrienne and Guest; Jan and John [and their children] Jake and Hannah; Dr. and Mrs. Smith. The outer envelope should be addressed to the person by their formal name.
• If the person you invite has children they are only invited if you include their names on the invitation. Conversely, if you have children and their names are not on the envelope, they are not invited. Some weddings are for adults only and there can be many reasons for that whether it be budget, safety at the ceremony or reception site, etc. Please respect the bride, the groom and their families by respecting their decision of whether to invite your children or not. PS- Don't take it personal!   
• RSVP by the requested date. Many brides have given themselves a cushion, but not always. MAIL THE CARD. In this day and age of electronic everything you might be tempted to just send a text or Facebook message. Don't. There is so much to do in the last weeks before a wedding that a text may not be seen (or if seen, forgotten,) whereas an actual card is handled and your response is recorded properly.
• If there was "Guest" included on your inner envelope you should indicate if you are bringing someone or not. And if you are, then only one guest. (Unless it says 'Guests', then by all means bring however many you need/want to.)(That was a joke. I don't think I've ever seen 'Guests' on an invitation.)
• If you say that you'll go, then go.
• If something drastic happens then find a way to let the bride, groom, or their parents know that you can't make it. They invited you to share their day and will be disappointed if you don't show and they don't know why.
• Please RSVP to each individual invitation that you receive, including, but not limited to: the shower, the bachelor/bachelorette party, the rehearsal dinner, etc. Just because you are in the wedding party, or are family does NOT mean that you can go to every event. Also, remember, different people typically plan/execute these extra events and they don't always know who is who on an invitation list from the bride.

This list certainly isn't exhaustive but it's a good start. "The rules" are a great way of having reasonable expectations and expected responses so no feelings are hurt and a bride, groom, and their families can plan and execute a wedding efficiently.

An Oldie but a Goodie

Tonight I introduced my boys to this:

I think it's been over 20 years since I saw it last. Smart money says it will be considerably less until I watch it again.

Confidence

Today's prompt from The Daily Post is "Are you good at what you do? What would you like to be better at.

I manage our household well. Yes, I'm confident that I do that well. Our bills are paid on time, checks don't bounce. I keep food in our cupboards and on the table, (I won't claim to be a gourmet though.) I'm the master of the calendar. Rarely is one of those balls dropped. My house is mostly clean and tidy, although I wouldn't win any cleaning contests I won't be embarrassed if you were to drop by unannounced. [Side note: Does anyone do that anymore? Just drop in on someone to say hi? I have one friend that does that and I can't remember the last time I did it. Do you?]I also think that I'm a pretty good wife and friend.

I would like to be a better mother. Yes, all of the basics are covered. My weaknesses are patience and raising my voice. I get really cranky when I have to wait on one of the kids-whether it's to do their homework (texting and listening to music is not getting it done,) or chores, I hate having to tell/ask more than once. Which brings on the yelling. I probably raise my voice way quicker than most people. I'm not proud of it but it is who I am. I'm a lot like my father though and my 'bark is worse than my bite." I may be quick to the boiling point but I also calm down pretty quickly. I would also like to be a better photographer, and procrastinate less.

What about you? What are you good at?

Bucket List

Last night at dinner HD and I started a conversation that I'm sure is going to continue for years. He asked me what we were going to do when our youngest goes to college in 6 years. 6 years is not a very long time. 6 years ago we had a senior in high school and one starting kindergarten. It will go so fast-I've been there. We certainly didn't come up with a complete "Bucket List" but we got started. Here are a few of the things we talked about:

• Travel: Paris. Rome. Motor home trip: through the whole US, to Alaska. Or a lodge trip to Alaska. A boat up the Intercoastal waterway on the east coast. Golf in Ireland. Costa Rica.
• Learn to golf.
• He wants me to catch a fish.
•  Concerts: Jimmy Buffet (again,) Elton John.
• (It's not very long, I know. Lame.)

 Have you and your spouse talked about this? What are some of the things you want to do? I'd love some ideas to add to our list.

I also said that we need a hobby. What kind of things/hobbies do couples do together? Besides exercise-type things (hiking, biking, etc.,) I can't think of any. Which is sad, really. We need to come up with something that we both like to do that we can do together, that will continue to interest us.

So tell me. What is on your joint bucket list? What hobbies do you have as a couple?

16-The Marriage Edition

Today HD and I celebrate 16 years of marriage. That's a long time, y'all. Here are 16 things that I've learned about marriage since that day in 1997:

1. Your husband (or wife,) is not a mind reader. You must tell them what is on your mind.
2. Choose your words carefully. A hasty tongue causes hurt feelings and much back-tracking.
3. Sometimes women just need someone to listen. Sometimes men need a sounding board to fix it. Sometimes a hug is the only answer.
4. Let your husband parent in his way. You parent in your way. Your children need both.
5. Find out what your spouse's Love Language is. Remember to act on it daily, if you can.
6. Learn to say "I'm sorry."
7. Talk about each other's day, what's going on, how they feel about it. Don't just bark a laundry list of To-Do items and the kid's activities.
8. Make the time to go out once in a while. While we don't always get out weekly, sometimes we take a night or weekend completely away. Do what works for you, your schedule, and your budget, but do it. Time away from your home changes how you act and react to one another.
9. Respect your husband's family (or your wife's,) but remember that you are married to your partner, not their family. Have calm, respectful discussions about topics that involve extended family, and come to JOINT conclusions.
10. Sometimes having some sexy time, even if you don't feel like it, is just what the dr. ordered. And you probably need it, too. 
11. Find some couple friends that you both enjoy. 
12. Spend time doing the things that YOU love, without your honey. You'll have more to bring to the table when you are together.
13. Do not make large purchases alone. Consult one another in all major financial matters.
14. Do not expect that just because you're married that your life will magically be happy all of the time. Happiness, and marriage, take hard work.
15. Always assume that your partner has your best interests at heart. Always keep your partner's best interests at heart. They should be the #1 person on this planet that you are concerned with.
16. Keep God in the center of your marriage. God invented marriage for a reason and blesses those that remember that.

Have a great weekend.... We're going out tonight for a well deserved anniversary date!
Edited to add : I may not do all of these things well all of the time, but I have learned that they are important. You know, just to clarify. ;-)

Throwback Thursday

My parents, circa 1967

I owe so much to these two. But how can you repay your parents? I wouldn't ever ask for 'repayment' from my children so I suppose that is my repayment to them. We love the next generation to the best of our ability and give them what we can and hope that they are happy and give their children the best that they have. The circle of life.

Wordless Wednesday

Ten Things

Yes, this is the Facebook meme that has been going around. I'm not sure that there is much that I haven't told you but here we go anyway. I decided to do it after I read Uncle Crappy's version. His was good. I'm sure mine will be less than good. Whatever.

1. I will eat, or at least try, most foods except sushi, mushrooms, and artichokes. 
2. In general I'm not a fan of facial hair on men. Not even 5 o'clock shadow. It's a good thing, too, because HD can't grow a respectable beard or mustache. The most he can do is a soul patch. My father, and his signature, curled-on-the-sides mustache, is an obvious exception.
3. I have been in the same bowling league for 15 years. My average is currently 137 and my high game ever is around 215. I love it.
4. I am a firm believer in going to the funeral. (Do you know Kate? She wrote a fabulous piece about funerals and saying goodbye. You should read it.) I want people to know that I care about their loss. I want people to know that they are not alone in their grief. 
5. Related: I want my funeral to be a giant southern-style pot luck with lots of loud 80's music and lots of wine (or your beverage of choice.) I want lots of laughter and dancing. And cheesecake. There must be cheesecake.
6. I have had long hair for most of my life. HD loves long hair. Oh, but I long to try something short and sassy. Maybe like this:

   

   I was so excited about my Holly Hobbie lunch box.

   
   

   
   

7. I am not a fan of children calling adults by their first name. I do everything I can to prevent my own children from doing it, but I will allow it if you tell my kids to call you by your first name. I will never tell a child to address me by my first name so if one does it's not by my choice. I believe the practice of addressing adults as "Mr." or "Mrs." is an important part of teaching respect for others, a common courtesy that is largely being lost in our society today.
8. The art of the 4-way stop is highly underrated.
9. As a child my favorite restaurant was McDonalds. Only people that have lived in very rural areas might understand this, but after we moved to the mountains of Colorado it was a very rare treat, as there were only McDonalds restaurants in the city. To this day I can't resist a Quarter Pounder with Cheese, fries, and a coke. That's why I rarely go to McDonalds.
10. As a result of my internet fast in September, most days I get up and read a few chapters in my bible. I now know why so many people do it, and wonder why it took me so long. There have been many days that have been 'saved' by this practice. I'm not perfect, but I'm trying.

As per the game, if you comment I'll give you a number. If you want. Or just do it and let me know you did. I'm a big fan of the 2007 meme.

Prompt: What's in My Fridge?

I don't know if this was actually today's prompt or one from earlier in the month but I knew I could do this. I only hope you can't see how badly I need to deep clean my fridge.

I'll start in the freezer, from the top: broken icemaker with a bag of ice in it, frozen pasta sauce, 3 kinds of ice cream (one of which fell out when I opened the door to take this picture,) cool whip (left over from a party a few weeks ago,) lots of frozen fish and chicken, meatballs, a few bananas, a box of pineapple upside down cakes, and the bottom drawer is full of frozen vegetables and fruit for smoothies.

Right, refrigerator side, top to bottom: egg carton with one egg left, half used carton of chicken broth, 2 gallons of milk, almond milk, 2 half gallons of half and half (one has a wee drop left,) giant jug of orange juice, way in the back you can see the tops of: 2 open bottles of chardonnay, one bottle of champagne, a jug of cranberry juice and a bottle of sweet and sour mix left over from the wedding, and a bottle of Bailey's; cheese in the cheese drawer (!); mini containers of salsa from the Mexican place, left over spaghetti from tonight's dinner, left over pork chops that need to be thrown out, large container of hummus, a full container of eggs, cans of ginger ale, sliced tomatoes, a burger from the restaurant we went to last night (that #1 didn't even touch because it had onions on it but refused to send back,) crisper drawer has: lettuce, cucumbers, baby carrots, and other stuff I can't see or remember, which means I desperately need to clean it out,); meat drawer: bacon, ham steaks, and a half case of yogurt.

What's in your fridge? Seriously. Post your picture and tell me what's there!

I've resorted to the daily prompt

This NaBloPoMo stuff gets hard. Since it's late I decided to use the BlogHer daily prompt to get started and guess what it was?

Are you a morning person or a night owl?

AhHahahahahahahahaha!!! Have you looked at the time stamps of what I've posted so far? I am a night owl for.sure. Nightly you can find me in front of the tv taping away on my lap top watching the news. 

My husband, however, is an early bird. Always up early, often leaving for work before any of the rest of us even get out of bed. It works in my favor, though, since the coffee is always ready.

I really try to get to bed early. I really do. Did you ever read that chain email about 15 years ago that said something about the husband saying he was going to bed and he did, then the wife says she's going to bed? She finally makes it after feeding the dog, preparing the coffee, running the dishwasher, turning off the lights, putting a load of clothes in the dryer, washing her face brushing her teeth, checking on the kids..... You know the drill. That is my life. So when I TRY to get to bed early I still have at least a half dozen things to do before I actually go up the stairs. Which sometimes turns into a few more, and before you know it, it's 11pm once again. (And then there is November when I sit down to write after everyone else is in bed. Ahem.)

So what about you? Early-to-rise or late-to-bed?

Light Waves

My #1 has a new hobby. Gloving. Have you heard of it? I hadn't, but it started at raves but now has a life of it's own. They wear gloves with mini LED lights in the fingertips and move and manipulate their fingers and arms to beat of EDM music. It's pretty cool. This is what my Friday Night Lights look like lately.

Just so you know, that's called a 'trail shot.'

Beautiful

Many of you know that my #1 has a girlfriend. They've been going out for about 6 months or so and we really like her. She is pretty quiet, although around here if you don't speak up you're liable to be drowned out. She is in the band with my son, so I knew that she was musical. I had no idea she was this talented. (Video taken at the jr. high talent show.)

(I couldn't get the video to load. I'll fix it in the morning. Aargh!)

Well done today Miss T! I'm so glad I could be there to see this.

The First Job

What was your first job?

I think the first thing I got paid for was babysitting. The family I most worked for was a single dad that lived down the street from us with three kids. He had a classic Corvette that he offered to let me drive but I didn't because I was too scared that I would wreck it. His house had an indoor hot tub that I was able to use if I wanted to. I mostly just watched tv after I put the kids to bed.

My second job was at an antique/gift store. I mostly did gift wrapping and checking in new merchandise. I was lucky enough to be able to work there on vacations and holidays through most of high school.

Third job: department store, dress department. I worked there for 3 months after I left UT and before I started at UNC. Fourth: cocktail waitress at a local's bar in our college town.

My son started his first job last week. A few months back he brought home a permission slip from school asking if he could sign up to be a tutor. About 2 weeks ago we got a call from a mom wanting math help for her son, and would #1 be able to do it? So I take him over twice a week to help G with his math. I have given #1 a few tips on where to start but otherwise it's all him. He gets paid on Thursday, just in time for the weekend. He's pretty excited about making his own money--and hasn't even asked to go spend it yet!

Today, a tutor, tomorrow, The World!

What was your first job?

Happy Birthday Carmen!

My wish for you is that your day is filled with sunshine, laughter, flowers, cocktails, and obedient children. ;-)

Love you, my friend, have a fantastic birthday!!

PS- I forgot who took this picture at Blissdom. Help a sister out?

Sausage and Cabbage

I tried a new recipe from Pinterest tonight and thought I'd share it with you. It was a hit with most of us. Even HD. He's the picky one of the bunch. It was quick and really healthy. Recommended! You can find the original recipe on Whole Life Eating, where it was originally published as a one serving dish. I'm excited to browse the recipes there now that I know that this one is so yummy!

Sausage and Cabbage

1 head green cabbage
2 packages Aidel's Chicken and Apple Sausage
1/2 large sweet yellow onion
2-3 cups chicken broth
olive oil
salt, pepper, and garlic powder

Slice sausages and put in nonstick skillet to lightly brown. Stir occasionally.

While sausages get started coarsely chop onion. Add olive oil (2-4 Tbsp.) and onions to a large, deep pan. Cook over medium heat for a few minutes until onions are slightly soft. While onions are cooking, coarsely chop cabbage and add to large pan. Toss to coat with oil. Sprinkle with salt, pepper and garlic powder to taste. Cook for a few minutes longer until cabbage is beginning to get soft.

Add chicken broth, stir, and cover for about 10 minutes.

Use a slotted spoon to serve cabbage, top with sausage.

*****

We'll definitely have this again. Maybe with a spicier sausage? I made biscuits to have with this and it was a perfect meal.

Just Curious- Modern Conveniences

A long time ago I used to do a series of questions titled Just Curious. Usually simple questions about simple stuff that you do, like, use, that kind of thing. Since I always need a topic or two for NaBloPoMo I thought I'd resurrect it today.

What is a first-world, modern convenience, while you know it's ridiculous, you wouldn't want to do without?

Mine is laundry products. Stain remover, fabric softener, static remover. All of it. I've become weirdly obsessed with fabric softener and laundry scent additives for my laundry. And I have used a Bounce Bar in the dryer since they were left in my hotel at BlogHer many years ago. Obsessed. I know it's ridiculous, and as recently as one generation ago (my mother!) many families were lucky to have a washing machine, much less any of these other frivolities. (Not to mention people around the world who want access to clean water. I told you it's frivolous!) Crunchy sheets dried on the line were on the beds when I visited my grandparent's house when I was a child.

So spill it. What wouldn't you want to give up?