18 Years Ago

I married my best friend.

It keeps getting better, folks. May you be as lucky, blessed and happily married as we are.

Wedding Album

I absolutely love my wedding album. I still love my wedding dress. I think that the bridesmaid dresses/jackets are still simple and pretty and timeless. I love the joy on my husband's face and the tears in a few eyes. We celebrated 17 years of marriage yesterday during Championship Saturday. (So romantic, no?) Since I love my album so much, I thought I'd share a few shots with you. I guess it's a day to ignore the headless part of the blog? ;-)

With my daughter.

With my parents.

She's a little angel!

The guys at the bar. Of course!

The obligatory church kiss shot.

My mom with HD.

During the ceremony we gave HG her own wedding ring to promise that we would be a family always.

The party was pretty fun. Especially for a certain girl who got all of the attention. Flying is fun!

I love these shots. Our portraits were great too but these give you a feel of how fun our day was. A beautiful Saturday in Colorado, 17 years ago. 

Love you, Honey!

Photo disclaimer: The Photography studio that did our pictures has since gone out of business. When they did, we became the full owners of these images. Please don't steal them. 

~headless mom

Wedding RSVP Etiquette

So many people have let etiquette go. I'm not sure whether it's 'society', or that young people think it's old fashioned and stupid, or parents just aren't teaching it anymore, but etiquette is still important today and 'the rules' should still be followed. Here are a few reminders about RSVPs for brides and guests:

• Include an RSVP card with your invitation, with a self-addressed, stamped envelope. The inner envelope should include the familiar name of the person(s) included on that invitation, i.e. how the bride or groom addresses that person. For example: Grandma Barb and Grandpa Chuck; Bob and Julie; Adrienne and Guest; Jan and John [and their children] Jake and Hannah; Dr. and Mrs. Smith. The outer envelope should be addressed to the person by their formal name.
• If the person you invite has children they are only invited if you include their names on the invitation. Conversely, if you have children and their names are not on the envelope, they are not invited. Some weddings are for adults only and there can be many reasons for that whether it be budget, safety at the ceremony or reception site, etc. Please respect the bride, the groom and their families by respecting their decision of whether to invite your children or not. PS- Don't take it personal!   
• RSVP by the requested date. Many brides have given themselves a cushion, but not always. MAIL THE CARD. In this day and age of electronic everything you might be tempted to just send a text or Facebook message. Don't. There is so much to do in the last weeks before a wedding that a text may not be seen (or if seen, forgotten,) whereas an actual card is handled and your response is recorded properly.
• If there was "Guest" included on your inner envelope you should indicate if you are bringing someone or not. And if you are, then only one guest. (Unless it says 'Guests', then by all means bring however many you need/want to.)(That was a joke. I don't think I've ever seen 'Guests' on an invitation.)
• If you say that you'll go, then go.
• If something drastic happens then find a way to let the bride, groom, or their parents know that you can't make it. They invited you to share their day and will be disappointed if you don't show and they don't know why.
• Please RSVP to each individual invitation that you receive, including, but not limited to: the shower, the bachelor/bachelorette party, the rehearsal dinner, etc. Just because you are in the wedding party, or are family does NOT mean that you can go to every event. Also, remember, different people typically plan/execute these extra events and they don't always know who is who on an invitation list from the bride.

This list certainly isn't exhaustive but it's a good start. "The rules" are a great way of having reasonable expectations and expected responses so no feelings are hurt and a bride, groom, and their families can plan and execute a wedding efficiently.

Mother of the Bride- A Primer

Of all the things that being a mother brings, I think I was least prepared for being the Mother of the Bride. Maybe I thought that day was further off, or I would have more time to get used to the title, but it was definitely a weird hat to be wearing. With barely 6 months from engagement to wedding day, we had little time to process anything, much less a silly title. But, oh, how that silly title messed with me.

I learned a few things over the last 6 months and since I only have one daughter I'll share my knowledge with you. I'm guessing being Mother of the Groom is much, much different.

Share your memories from your own wedding and move on:
Yes, your wedding was beautiful but your daughter wants her own day. Shortly after HG and (Hmmm. He doesn't have a blog name yet. Bear with me.) that guy got engaged we pulled out my wedding album and my wedding planner. I shared details with them, showed them pictures, and poured over 16 year old to-do lists. It was fun to reminisce and they seemed to like the stories. I gave them a few ideas about things but that was that. I told them that if they needed any of the things that we found that they were welcome to them but I let them ask. And they asked again about a few things, but mostly they just indulged me. And that was ok.

Etiquette:
This one is tough. Many etiquette rules have gone the way of the typewriter but I'm really (I mean really,) old-fashioned in this area. Luckily HG was fine with most of the 'rules' but there were a few things that we didn't really see eye to eye on. There were things that I let go but there was one in particular that I wasn't budging on. It was my hot-button issue. Admittedly, I may not have handled it very well, but in my eyes it would have been a huge breach of etiquette. Do you have a hot-button issue regarding wedding etiquette? It's fine if you do, and it's fine if you want to make your position known, but chose only one that you won't budge on.) Family peace is way better than following every rule to a T. (I have way more to say about etiquette in another post.)

Pinterest:
Wedding planning is not like we remember it. We had thought about our weddings our whole lives and once we were engaged, we bought a few magazines, looked at a few brochures, and came up with something close to the picture in our minds. Nowadays, Pinterest and Google give a bride WAY TOO MANY CHOICES. And most brides have already seen what they want and pinned it, so anything that isn't an exact match won't do. (Lest you think that HG was a Bridezilla, she most certainly was NOT. She just had pictures to back up her vision. And second choices. and third choices. You see where this is going.) This method is fantastic if you have an unlimited budget to pay a wedding planner to do it all. This method needs some work when the bride and the mother of the bride aren't clever OR crafty, nor have an unlimited budget. As the mother this part was maddening. Pinterest and Google in the hands of a bride-to-be can be deadly. I watched HG get really flustered with the choices out there, and because she waited so long to make some of the decisions I got really flustered waiting.

Blended families:
This was pretty easy for us. It was a day for HG and Mr. HG to begin their life together, not a day for any old crap to come up. Her mom and I took her dress shopping together. She flew in for the shower. She stayed at my home. Let me reiterate. This was HG's day. Nothing should get in the way of that. Do you still have issues with your ex? (Or your ex's spouse? Or kids? Or, or or.....) Get over it. That has zero to do with throwing your daughter the wedding and reception that she wants and deserves. Put your issues away until after the wedding. You may find that you don't need to pull them back out after all. We personally had no issues with this but I think it's because her mom and I were kind to one another and tried to make sure that the other was comfortable with decisions that would effect the other. It's that simple, really.

The two Mothers of the Bride.

One last thing:
There will most likely be some (many? lots? a few?) things about your daughter's big day that you really don't like. Yes, you can GENTLY state your opinion but remember IT'S NOT YOUR DAY. IT'S HERS. So let her have it. Does it really matter whether the bridesmaid dresses are pumpkin or persimmon? They chose chocolate cake and you're allergic? Whatever. This is the first big thing that this couple will do together and they need to navigate the waters a bit on their own. I tried really hard to do this with HG and #3, and I hope you can do it with your daughter.

Now if we can just come up with a term that doesn't sound quite as old as Mother of the Bride.

The Let-Down

There is something about big events that get the adrenaline rushing for days or weeks and then, just....

nothing.

I don't know whether it's an actual biologic response or just imagined, but somehow my body knew that I did.not have time to be sick for the month prior to the wedding. As you may have guessed, within 3 days after- BOOM! I came down with the crud. Chest-y, sinus-y, ache-y. Yep, I'm a mess. Thankfully I'm the only one that has it (so far,) and kudos to Headless Dad for helping out this week. Or, more specifically, not giving me crap about the things that are not getting done. Like grocery shopping or laundry or ironing. For some reason these people that live here like to eat and walk around not naked. Huh. Who knew.

*****

For the first time ever I forgot my blogaversary. On October 1st, I've officially been blogging for 6 years. For some people out there, that probably sounds like an eternity but I have friends that have been blogging for over 10 years so I still feel like a baby. Although, I'm not sure that my less-than-regular updates can qualify as blogging anymore. Nonetheless, I still feel as though I have something to say. Whether anyone reads it is an entirely different conversation....

*****

After I ditch this crappy feeling I'll be back with wedding posts. You're really going to want to see it. Unless we're friends on F@cebook then you probably already have. Eh, oh well. I'm trying to gear up for NaBloPoMo in November. I guess I really am a glutton for punishment. (Is that how the saying goes? I'm so hopped up on Mucinex to think straight.)

T Minus 2 Days

It's here Y'all.

The wedding is in 2 days. The caterers are paid, the DJ is ready. My coffee table is filled with centerpieces for 18 tables that will be delivered on Friday.

Two weeks ago I flew to Memphis to help my mother's sister move. It's been planned for a long time, and we made it work. We drove to Denver and got to my parent's house-her new house!, and I stayed for 2 days longer than we had planned. My dad had gotten pneumonia and was in the hospital and my mom had the crud. Long story short, dad is much better but not well enough to travel so they will stay home and miss the wedding. We're heartbroken, but will tape the ceremony and the important parts of the reception so we can share it all with them. (A friend is going to try to Skype the ceremony. Fingers crossed!)

So things in Colorado are ok. Things here are..... crazy, but good. I'm stressed out but that's nothing new. The house is clean, the yard is..... wet. But I know it will all be perfect for my girl.

Here we go!

Shots from a Shower

Me and the bride.

The bride with all 3 moms. 

Pretty things!

Girlfriends!

Silly bridesmaids!

Accountability

• go through 2 piles of school work, separate/toss/store (Haven't even started.)
• organize hall cabinet (full of pictures)--mostly just get all of the crap inside.
• finish cleaning off my desk (95% complete)
• completely clean off kitchen counter (60% complete)

New additions to the list:

• Dress fitting today
• Make final month list/Calendar of To Dos and when to do them
• Finish getting my clothing ready, including shopping for shoes
• Call/hire a cleaning person and a window washer

Most importantly, however, is that today is the start of the NFL season.

GO BRONCOS!!

T-Minus 2 Weeks

In the never-ending saga of the wedding.....

The shower is going to be here in less than 2 weeks. It's going to be such a fun afternoon! Girly time, for sure. I'm responsible for the drinks, the Maid of Honor and the other bridesmaids are taking care of the rest.

I will need to finish getting the inside of the house ready and I need to post my list here so I can have it and be accountable. To Do before the shower:

• go through 2 piles of school work, separate/toss/store
• organize hall cabinet (full of pictures)--mostly just get all of the crap inside.
• finish cleaning off my desk (95% complete)
• completely clean off kitchen counter

Once I get these things done I will be able to have a house cleaning service come in. I'm being realistic that I can't get it all done on my own before the shower or the wedding. Mostly because I want to deep clean and there is no way that I can do all of that on my own before the wedding. So, a service it is. I also have to find a window washing service because that needs to be done even more than the house, if that's possible.

Anyway. There you have it. 4 projects to finish this week in addition to all of the regular cooking/cleaning/taxi service. Accepting all motivation, mojo, and energy sent my way!!

47 Days

That's the number of days that we have to go until my daughter gets married.

To them, it's Close! Exciting! Let's get this party started, already!

For me? It's Aack!  We still have to (fill in the 'Fire of the Day')!

That's ok. I've done this before. Wedding? Check. Party for 150? Check.

I got married before computers were The tool for AllTheThings. Back then, we asked our friends and neighbors for recommendations, not Google. We hit the Yellow Pages and the pavement when booking florists and such. We planned our weddings based on what we had always dreamed of instead of what we had seen on Pinterest. We found our bridesmaids dresses at a bridal store, not Etsy. We hand-wrote our lists of Things to Do and consulted Brides Magazine instead of adding a reminder on our iPhones.

It's a Brave New World out there, oh Moms-Of-Brides-to-Be. And it looks little like it did when we were preparing to walk down the aisle. White dresses and tulle aside, the wedding business is booming on the internet. The choices are endless. Cautionary tale, y'all.

The First of Many Big Days

Last Friday was a big day. It was a day that every girl dreams of. A day that Moms and Dads everywhere have mixed feelings about.

Headless Girl got engaged.

 He took her for a breakfast picnic. Something he's done before, but this time he had friends 'lying in wait' for the big moment. Obviously, since there are pictures. She wasn't expecting it to happen on this day even though she knew it was coming 'soon'.

They have been dating for 6 years so even at the young age of 22 and 23 it was the obvious next step. They are both graduating from college next week and somewhere around the start of 2014 they will be married.

I threw an engagement party together in a week, and yes, I had a little help. Headless Dad cooked tri tip, his mother (the fiance's,) made the desserts, I cleaned, shopped, and ordered the sides.   Her mother came as a surprise and it was lovely to have her here. About 20 of their friends came for dinner and I think they had a nice time.

I, of course, loved the centerpieces. Who wouldn't love these roses? ;-)

Since they want to get married relatively quickly we're starting to look at locations this weekend if we can. It's exciting and scary and OMG HOW DID I GET OLD ENOUGH TO HAVE A CHILD OLD ENOUGH TO GET MARRIED????????

So we are soon to be the parents of a married daughter. Any tips? Suggestions? Words of wisdom? Lay it on me. I have to be able to handle it. It's now or never!

Picture credit: Judi, one of Headless Girl's close friends, took the top two, the roses are all mine.