Mommblogging and Safety

The following is a portion of an email that I sent in response to Auds at Barking Mad. She is writing a detailed article about Mommyblogging and online safety and asked some of her pals for their thoughts/input. I don't know when she's going live with her article but since I did respond I thought that I would share my thoughts with all of you as well. Below is my response to her question, in it's entirety.

I think that I'm doing some things right. I chose to be 'anonymous' on my blog for safety reasons. When I started I was unsure where I would go with all of this. Now that I've been at it a while I'm more comfortable but that doesn't mean I should let my guard down.

The name 'headless' gives itself to no heads in pictures. I suppose someone could steal them and photoshop something, but since there isn't a face I'm not too worried. I purposely take the pictures without heads, rather than crop, so there is no question of true identity. There are thousands of kids that look the same from the neck down.

I don't use our names or exact location for the same reason. We are just like any other family in the US I think. We go to kids sports, scouts, and school activities. I try to choose photos and stories that are universal, yet talk about how we handle things. I don't shout out where we are but I also don't hide that we are in a major metropolitan area, either.

I am careful not to use the kids names, too, for the 'google factor'. Although I don't write much about the embarrassing stuff my kids do, I don't think that they want their girlfriend at 16 or 26 googling about wetting their pants, or getting in trouble at school. If they want to share my blog at that time it will be their choice: good, bad or ugly. (Do you suppose it will even be here then? Will we have moved on from blogs to something else?)

I think that some of your commenters already said this, but I mostly write about my life. Yes, my kids are a part of that life but not the only part. I run ads. If the measly money that I make from them is "profit" at the "expense" of my children, then so be it. I don't think that anything that I have written could be considered exploitation of my children. I would be a part of the Mommyblogger community whether I ran ads or not. How is this any different than an author writing memoirs about being a mom, then selling their book? I don't think it is. Why do people think that an actual book is more 'legitimate' than a blog? I'm a writer just the same, whether I make pennies or millions. My topic of choice is me, my family, and issues that affect us.

How is a blog any different than moms gathering at the back fence on wash day complaining about Johnny's talking back problem, what we're cooking for dinner, or that Jenny likes that boy that her father thinks is a bad seed? We, as women, have always had our times together to talk about our families, etc. I see Mommyblogging as an extension of that. Only my fence and your fence are sometimes 3000 miles, or more, apart.

(With my sincere apologies to Kelly from Don Mills Diva and the rest of you that hate the term. It fits here when talking about our genre.)

It's been a while since I wrote this and a few things have changed, but my basic take on this remains the same. Can't we put these mommyblogger wars to rest, already?

(Almost) Wordless Wednesday

I often get questions regarding the "heart in hand" logo that I use here on my blog. It is a common folk art symbol that my mother and I have been collecting for years. If you've ever been to my house, you might recognize the following as parts of my decor!

Made by my niece, of my children's hand prints:

Crystal, from my mom:
Carved wooden box from my aunt, this year for my birthday: (with red tissue to show detail)
A lapel pin on a heart pillow, above my desk:
A gift from an old friend, "When this you see, remember me!":
An old key chain:
Gingerbread style:

So my tattoo isn't just for the blog, it really is something that means a lot to me!

Tickled

A friend sent me an email earlier today. The content really doesn't matter, what is great is in a reply I got back from her a little while later...

when i sent this email to my uncle he wanted to know "who is Headless Mom"? And why the name Headless Mom? I told him you have 2 small boys & constantly running form here to there with all their sports, this and that. So now when he replies back to me it's Headless Randy. He got a real kick out of the name.

Isn't that great? Headless Randy, I wish I knew you so I could include your adventures here, too!

Why We're Headless-Part 2

Welcome back! I have had many questions regarding our Headlessness and hope you can really wrap your head around this. Read Part 1 here, or you might not get it all!

So, when we last left off school had just started and everything was ok. It didn't last very long. For those of you that live in southern California you may remember the heat wave that started at the end of August last year? Well, it was around 110 for about a week with no relief at night. Our air conditioner decided to take a dump about 1 day into the heat wave. Luckily my BIL lives in town and he and his (then) girlfriend were on vacation and we could stay at his house. So we packed up and went down to stay. The AC guy came to our house to check it out (we had gotten an estimate a few months before for a new unit,) but nothing could be done until the new one came in a week later. Despite the heat and the driving, the weekend was ok and we stayed on at BIL's until later in the week. We were really on a lucky streak when the power went out on Sunday evening for about 4 hours!

(Clear as mud, right? Stay with me.)

I also had started driving a friend's kids to school-mostly because I can't say no. So each morning we had to leave early to go get the other boys and then go to our school.

(A little back story before I go on: my husband works in an industry and at a company that does A LOT of emergency service. His phone can ring any time of the day or night-sometimes he has to go immediately, sometimes not at all. When the weather is really hot or really wet we can usually count on it ringing. He is paid well for his overtime so we usually don't complain.)

Headless Dad got an emergency call on Wednesday afternoon and never made it home that night. He ended up working through part of the day on Thursday and then came home (we were back home by then,) to go to sleep. That sleep part never came. He was up all night with a horible pain in his leg-so bad that he wanted to bash it with a crowbar because he thought that it would feel better than that pain. He went to the ER and they basically said "Here's some vicodin! Go home! Nothing we can do!" So yeah, that went well. The vicodin would only work for about an hour so he was taking WAY over the recommended dosage just to barely function.

On Monday he finally got in to see his doctor and he got a little relief but by Wednesday he was in a lot of pain again. We called the doctor's office and they set it up so we could take him to the hospital and be admitted. After a bunch of tests they determined that he had a herniated disc (L-5, S-1), and the pain was from the pressure on his nerve. The hospital stay was until Friday evening and luckily they were able to FINALLY control the pain.

This was also the week that Boy 1 started baseball practice 2 days a week, Boy 2 (and me! The coach!) started soccer practice 2 days a week. Remember, Girl was a senior and a cheerleader? Luckily she was already driving on her own and I didn't have to get her to and from those practices.

Oh, right. I forgot about Thursday...You'll never guess what happened that day. Come back to find out!

Why We're Headless-Part 1

One year ago things were mighty crazy around the Headless household. I hadn't even started my blog yet but had A LOT of blog fodder. Come with me down memory lane (well, short term, anyway,) and learn the reason behind the Headless...

The Background:

The summer of '07 was a little busy. The boys were finishing up Little League and Headless Girl was going into the summer before her Senior year. Other activities included the boys in bowling and swim lessons; the Girl had cheer practice and cheer camp. We had a whole family vacation to Isle of Palms, SC that fell over my mom's birthday (7/4) and mine (7/7/07). The girl also had to go to her mother's house for a month. There were senior pictures to take then fees to pay, and the uniform to pay for! (Yikes! I had ALMOST forgotten that part. Selective memory. It's painful.) (I'm sure I'm forgetting something-Sam? HG? Chime in if you can remember something else...) I'm also relatively certain that we went to Colorado for a week, but don't quote me. So, needless to say I was, then as now, ready for the kids to start school and be back on a schedule.

As I said, Headless Girl was starting her senior year. Headless Boy 1 was starting 2nd grade, and Headless Boy 2 was starting kindergarten. I had purposely pulled back on many of my volunteering hours in various places because I knew that I would want the extra time to pour into my kids during this year of firsts and lasts. Famous last words.

Just before the year started HB2 had decided that he wanted to play soccer, so I dutifully signed him up in a very large nationally known league. (Side note: I've never been a soccer fan, save for about one year in high school when I dated a soccer player. When I played as a kid I was the one that would get hit in the face with the ball ALL.THE.TIME.) When the organizer person called me he lied to me to sucker me in to coaching, which is a post all it's own. Suffice it to say, I caved and became the head coach of a team of 6 year old boys.

Headless Boy 1 had loved baseball so much in the spring that he wanted to try winter ball. Up to this point he had only been on "teaching" leagues, of any sport, and the jump to winter ball is a pretty big one from t-ball, no matter how you slice it.

At the time Headless Dad was just working as usual. Nothing spectacular there.

Let wrap up for today...Remember: Headless Girl: a senior, and a cheerleader. HB1- 2nd grade and winter baseball. HB2-soccer and kindergarten. Mom is the soccer coach. Dad is status quo. Clear so far?

Come back for the next installment! You won't be sorry...